After months of back and forth correspondence with solicitors we finally purchased our dream home. A small cottage with a thatched roof , black and white cladding and a pond that housed a family of ducks which our son set his sights on as soon as we pulled jumped out the removal van that carried our entire life in a small white box. He darted straight for the pond flapping his arms and stared at the ducks as they bobbed and splashed in such a performative manner. Our son was diagnosed with autism only a few short months ago so we thought the sleepy nature of this quiet village would be a perfect fit for him compared to the hustle and bustle of the city life we left in our shadows. He’s completely non verbal yet is fascinated by water and animals so under close supervision we were able to assist the moving team without worrying what chaos he would cause if he wasn’t distracted. We left a lot of the heavy lifting to the moving team , in fact the only heavy lifting myself and my wife did was the occasional finger point to different positions where we wanted our furniture placed.
Not even an hour passed and our dream materialised infront of our very eyes of how we envisaged our little nest to look like. Our son was still outside staring at the ducks occasionally flapping his arms and jumping in place , it warmed my heart to see how settled he was already. I found myself staring out the kitchen window at him for many more minutes until my wife gently rested a head of messy brown hair tied up in a bun on my shoulder letting out a little sigh of relief.
“Look at him , I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him this happy , you won’t get him away from that pond now” Elizabeth let out a small chuckle as she ran her fingers across my back. I rested my arm across her shoulders in response and held her tight against me.
“May aswell take dinner to him tonight , come on , I’ll make us a picnic , I’m sure I can distract him from duck duty with some jam sandwiches and strawberries.” I replied , patting Elizabeth on the back and began to unpack the beaten cardboard box that said “picnic stuff and other kitcheny stuff”. I must of looked away for no more than 10 seconds but when I looked back , our son still stood by the pond , but so did an older couple either side of him both looking at the pond with him. I dropped why I was doing and stormed out towards the front door with an air of caution summoning Elizabeth to join me. I didn’t need to leave the threshold of the front door as stood about 2 feet from the opening were the couple from the pond , who must of moved with unusual briskness to be stood only feet infront of me. I could see Elliot still playing by the pond but gestured to Elizabeth to go to him via the other door while I talked to the couple. Before I could get a word in the Gentleman , dressed in a white pinstripe suit paired with a red bow tie and slick back grey hair stepped through into our house with an unusual confidence and held out a hand for me to shake.
“Hi , Hello , Welcome ! Collin West , head of the local parish council of Brookmarsh village community and may I say what a pleasure it is to meet you … Will isn’t it ?”
I opened my mouth to respond , hesitating only because i wondered how on earth he knew my name but I was quickly cut off -
“And your beautiful wife Elizabeth of course , my and I almost forgot about little Elliott , quite the character but not awfully chatty. How rude of my , this is my wife Barbara.”
The older woman behind him picked up her floral dress revealing ruby red flats and proceeded with a curtsy whilst stepping through to join her husband , wrapping her arm around his.
“It’s a pleasure truly it is , we do hope you will love it in our little pocket of paradise, our PERFECT , little pocket.” A smile grew on her face as the thick red make up cracked and split that looked more sinister than welcoming.
I didn’t quite know what to make of them. Unsettlingly welcoming and polite ? Elegantly dressed but , something in the pit of my stomach screamed to push them out , slam the door and lock it up. However I could see myself beginning to overthink the situation too much , was this sinister ? No surely not , so I decided to let them continue, airing on the side of hoping they were just incredibly friendly.
“Now young chap , we won’t keep you much longer , however we do have a few hopes and , gosh I hate to call them rules … let’s say mutual understandings that we hope you will have a read through and understand why these are in place , have a read through this and any issues please , give me a call , our numbers on the front. Need to keep our paradise perfect after all .” With that , they both left straight out the front door and past Elliot and Elizabeth, waving as they did.
In my hand was a thick plastic folder close to bursting with 100s of pages presented as neat and proper as the couple who handed it to me. On the front read “Welcome to Brookmarsh , our perfect pocket of paradise - a new neighbours guide to perfection”. A small illustration of some flowers drawn below the text , I found myself transfixed by the interaction and the strange book in my possession.
“Fuck was all that about Will ?” Elizabeth made me jump slightly appearing over my shoulder with Elliot in tow.
“Erm , I don’t really know to be honest with you. They gave us this book though , some evening reading I suppose” I didn’t give it a second thought, tossing the book on the side table and carried on with Elliot’s bed time routine.
We tucked Elliot into bed and Elizabeth went to unpack our bedding while I read Elliot his favourite bed time story , no prizes for guessing what it was about. He loved this book as although he couldn’t read he liked to feel the textured pages filled with different ducks of all shape and size. He started pointing at one tapping the page.
“D…d…duck”
I was startled , no , astonished. Years of work with speech and language therapists with no progress but finally , 6 years old he’s managed his first word. This was a near miracle as we had been told it was pretty clear cut our son was going to remain non verbal for many many years and needed constant support with speech and language. Before I could call Elizabeth she came running down the hall , eyes filled with tears of amazement.
“Duck , duck , duck” Elliot continued for a few moments before he let out an enormous yawn and stalled down to sleep. I stood up and looked Elizabeth in the eyes and we both embraced with pride for our son.
We stayed up a little while after this as the adrenaline kept us up so we decided to pop a bottle of red which we finished between us as the night went on.
“Go on , let’s have a little look at that folder those weirdos dropped off.” Elizabeth nudged me , gesturing towards the side table spilling a drop of wine on her jeans but didn’t seem to react.
“Fine then” I replied with a groan , I couldn’t be arsed but thought it could be a laugh as I flicked open the folder and began to imitate their voices.
“Guideline 9 - lights off and minimal noise after 10pm , 11pm in the summer due to later evenings - key workers and NHS staff working lates must inform the council to allow exceptions.”
“Guideline 17 - No unsightly additions to the household must be made unless cleared by the local parish council”
“Guideline 24 - All village events must be attended by all residents. Exemptions include Illness , death in the household or close contact or council approved holiday”
Through my drunken spirit I decided to riff the through and ad-lib after that , ripping the odd page out -
“Guideline 5 billion and 2 - I promise not to be a massive weird twat and bother the new neighbours son”
We both laughed and fell into the sofa together. We both have been through so much hardship so to finally see the fruit of our labour in this beautiful home filled us both with a sense of pride. Our moment of pride was quickly interrupted though by a voice that sounded too familiar.
“Tut tut tut , 11:02 pm chaps we can’t be having this , rule one states after all … well how about we let you off this time , I’m sure the village will understand as your new and seem to have … misplaced the guidebook. One chance , it’s all you will get” Collin had causally leant through the window and left a brand new guidebook on the sill. We didn’t have time to react but by the time we stumbled to the window he was gone. We both looked at the guidebook that had been laminated and scrawled at the bottom “not to be tampered with or destroyed”. Both of us felt to uneasy to stay up any longer so locked the window and struggled to bed. We didn’t have much time to think about the incident as we both passed out fairly instantly due to the amount of alcohol we had consumed.
We awoke suddenly to a blood curdling screech. Despite this being terrifying every time it happens we were beginning to grow accustomed to it. It was my turn to calm Elliot down as sometimes something can spook or unsettle him in his sleep which leads to him having these overwhelming emotions. Just have to rush to him before the head banging begins , it’s always like being on trial when you drop him at school and have to explain the mysterious bruises on his forehead from his evening of overstimulated head banging. I stumbled to his room , head feeling dizzy from the approaching hangover that will kick in when I woke up later , past the clock that read “4:03 am”. I jiggled the door to Eliot’s room open expecting him to be in his bed or atleast on it hearing himself up for a meltdown but to my surprise he was at the window.
“Elliot come on buddy , let’s get you back int bed , remember this is a new place , new room , same bed though and same Mr Quakers” Elliot’s teddy which was of course a duck was clenched tight in his fist. He rocked back and forth shaking like a leaf , grinding his teeth and wouldn’t budge. I switched on his star light which normally calmed him down but did nothing , so I ended up picking him up and trying to place him back in bed. Tucking him back in and running my fingers through is hair I began to gently blow in his face to try and get him to calm down which usually works. His teeth stopped grinding and his breathing slowed.
“Shhhh that’s it buddy there you go , it’s alright. Close your eyes and get some more sleep , will have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow, wonder what you and mummy will get up to”
The last thing I expect to happen , happened.
“M..man … P…Pond… man in pond”
I froze. I was frozen to the core and I couldn’t move. My fingers became static in his hair and my calming blows whimpered out to a pathetic wheeze. I made the decision he could sleep with us that night as it was one of the more extreme methods of calming him as doctors had told us he needed that independence. But tonight the hallway seemed like miles away to protect him.
That morning I got up for work , 6am on the dot and headed downstairs. Being a plumber may not be the most glamorous job but it pays the bills and gives my family the security they need so Elizabeth can cut hours where needs an look after Elliot when he’s not in school. We had managed to get him in a specialist school about a mile away but like most things it required an annual fee , meaning I had to pick up more hours. I was too tired to even attempts to make breakfast and to hungover to eat so I just threw my overalls on and some shoes and headed out the door.
I took one step out and felt something beneath my shoe. A sickening crunch like someone snapping a popadom that left a sickly clinging feel as I lifted my shoe back up and looked down . The sight I saw below my shoe almost made me throw up. A dead duck with its neck snapped lay next to a small note that said : “Guideline 9 broken again , time of incident 4:03 am we did warn you , try to keep things perfect would you ? ~ Collin”
I didn’t spend my morning at work , instead was spent at the police station sat in a humid sweaty room with windows that let in enough light to be able to read the oddly positive posters on the wall. They read things like “0 crimes reported in Brookmarsh since 1982 !” And “if you notice someone breaking guidelines , please report to the local parish council for a good talking to”. I didn’t care to read into them much further , straining my eyes didn’t help with the underlying sickness that was bubbling away inside of me brought on by the smell of stale coffee and regret. I must have been in there more than an hour before I was called to talk to a police officer.
“William Pine ?” A voice echoed across the room before being absorbed by the humidity. A short rotund younger chap not much older than myself , scratching at his whispy beard as he surveyed the room looking for myself. I stood up , phone in hand with a camera roll of evidence and waved towards the officer with a half hearted raise of my arm. The Officer locked eyes with me and an expression of mild intrigue grew upon his face. He said no other words other than a “cmon” and a finger wag as he waddled down the corridor ushering me to follow.
We approached a room with nothing more than a desk , metal filing cabinets and a fabric chair that had seen better days. He gestured to sit in the chair which as soon as my weight tested it I could feel springs digging into me while others faltered and crunched.
“PC Jacob , pleasure to meet you but please just call me Jake. I don’t believe I’ve seen you round here before , new here?”
“Yes , literally only yesterday..” I replied , I felt obligated to partake in pleasantries but wanted to skip straight to the matter in hand. “I’m sorry to skip any pleasantries but I’m really concerned about our neighbours. We have been here less than a full 48 hours and we have been made to feel unsafe in our own home”
“I see. Yes I did see your report you made at the front desk. You’re over in meadow view cottage … neighbours are Polly Elm on the one side , Collin and Barbara on the other correct ?”
“Yeah , yes , Collin and Barbara , more so Collin though ! Barbara seems a rather bit eccentric but harmless yet Collin … he … he killed a fucking duck and left it on our porch ! Never mind the fact he was stalking us !”
“Stalking ? Dead Duck? Now Mr Pine these are some quite serious allegations about our head of the local parish council.” His title was emphasised by Jake in that moment as though he was trying to intimidate me with those words.
“Yes , I know they are , and I have the evidence to prove it!” I shoved my phone in the officers face scrolling through the pictures of the duck , the note , the folder.
Jake lay back in his chair , a smirk began to grow as he did so.
“Ahh , Mr Pine - sorry , Will if I may…” he chuckled “you did read your guideline folder carefully didn’t you”
“I’m sorry what ? No i didn’t read that damn folder …” I was once again interrupted as I snatched my phone back. Jake stood up and rubbed his hands together as though he had solved the case of the century.
“There you are then Will ! Look I know Collins Guidelines are a bit extreme but it’s how we maintain our perfect corner of paradise. Everything has its place and reason and I’m afraid that your actions may not have aligned to the good of that goal.”
I sat in there in sheer shock and disbelief of the blatant disregard for my complaint or Collins actions. How can a man of integrity that’s supposed to hold up the law be so … then it clicked , the pieces of the puzzle aligned into an ugly scene. The clouded glass clearly read “Office of PC Jacob West”. It was a lost cause, he’d washed his hands with me tossing me aside to run back to his deranged family to tell them of my visit. That thought cemented itself firmly in my mind , as I left and just had to hope he didn’t say anything to his folks.
I could do nothing more than ring my wife , tell her the news. We thought it’d be wise for her and our son to stay at her mums for a while. Her mother , Beth , is a children’s nurse practitioner specialising in paediatric neurodiversity so if anyone was going to understand the struggles she would. I however chose to stay , for work and nothing more. I had a few clients lined up already and I couldn’t in good conscience leave them high and dry.
My first appointment was with a middle aged couple who had noting moved into the village either. Another cottage not to de similar to ours but was slightly smaller and nestled near the Centre Square of the village. Mr and Mrs Owen’s , moved from central Birmingham for a quiet life following their business being destroyed by ongoing struggles from Covid. They took what money they had left and bought this place to settle down away from the heartbreak of their once thriving business. I knocked on the door to be greeted by a freakishly tall Gentleman who was wearing a red silk robe that was way too small for him.
“Hello ?” He replied in a half yawn , poor man looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks.
“Hi there Bud I’m Will , come to fit your hot tub to the main water supply ?”
“Gosh is it that time already ? Ahhh yeah come round the back mate I’ll open up the back fence for you , easier than walking through and waking the Mrs”
I made my way around the back of the house , garden looked like a bomb site where modern and vintage had collided into one big mess. The hot tub sat in a half built prefab of some sort of shed but was fairly close to the house hopefully meaning meaning it’d be an easy job.
“Been busy have we ?” I asked Mr Owen , nodding towards the half built structure.
“A home office of sorts I suppose , I’ve managed to pull a few strings and had my old business bought out just before it was about to go bust. However the buyer said I can stay on to steady the ship from their point of view but live down the other side of Kent. Couldn’t be arsed to make that sort of commute so agreed I could work from home.” Mr Owens Half smiled at the task at hand , reluctant to turn into a full Grin due to the sheer scale of the task at hand. “Christ , only been here a week and I’ve felt like I’ve worked on this for years”
I started to get to work on the piping to the tub before asking. “Don’t suppose you’ve had one of those ‘Guideline folder’ things have you ?”
He let out a forced breath through his nostrils “yeah , load of bollocks that is. Had the weird fella who gave it me pop round at 5 Am to inform me my ‘Garden Gnomes weren’t up to code’ the other day. Said they were Garish and obscene, certainly not perfect.”
He lit a cigarette and continued.
“Was too busy dealing with the back garden to worry about it there and then , but when I came back around this morning they had all been smashed , all of them. Bit harsh if you ask me , tried telling the police but they told me to stick to the guidelines so Bollocks to them too. You had anything like that happen to you ?”
I stopped for a moment , thinking of the corpse of the duck lay upon the porch. Didn’t feel inclined to dignify him with the truth so just sighed and said “yeah something like that”
Suddenly , whether I was distracted or simply not paying attention I accidentally let slip of one of the bits of piping and it cracked right down the middle. I apologised and explained I had some extra pipes in the garage at home , I’d collect and fit them at no extra charge. Mr Owen looked from the deck chair he had planted himself in behind the subdued glow of his cigarette and nodded. I jumped back in my van and drove home , trying to put the events of the last few days in the past and tried to focus on work. Surely this should all blow over , surely I’m over thinking it , surely I … slammed on the breaks when a small elderly woman stepped out into the middle of the road. She must have been about 90 wearing nothing more than a nightie and a singular slipper. I could see she was muttering something so hopped out the van to see if she was ok.
“Excuse me love are you alright ? “ I asked , placing my hands on the shoulders of the woman as she continued to stare off and mutter.
“A perfect paradise demands perfection … a perfect paradise demands perfection … a perfect paradise demands perfection” over and over again like a broken record. I looked around , no idea where she could have come from. Time stood still for a moment, I looked around for anyone or anything tna could indicate where she may have come from. I looked back at her and she was staring straight into my soul , eyes seemed milky and black like staring into a bowl of rotten cereal , I could of sworn they swirled and rolled around as I stared into them.
“Not - perfect - must … fix” she made a swipe for my face cutting my cheek with razor sharp dirty nails. She grabbed me by my throat and pounced knocking me to the floor. The world went a bit blurry as my skull bounced off the concrete floor, she brought her head close to mine and sniffed my face. The smell of death and decay burnt my nostrils as her hot breath encased my nose. She flashed a gaping smile pulling her head away , teeth looking as though they had been stuck to her gums with warm butter.
I tried to shout for help but she raised one finger to my lips and whispered shakily.
“Shhh , it’s okay, it’ll all be perfect , you’ll see” she leant back , each disk in her back popping and snapping , twisting into an unnatural arch while she moaned. Another woman in a uniform came darting over in our direction.
“Oh Christ , Lyn ! For the love of god there you are , are you harassing this more gentleman? I’m so sorry sir , now come on , let’s get you back” .I could briefly see the badge attached tidily on her tunic ‘Brookmarsh Elderly care centre’. This did little to settle my mind however as I lay on the gravel feeling tiny stones digging into my skin at every exposed area. Did that actually just happen ?
I didn’t want to dwell on it much further so I just got back in my van and drove off home. I collected the piping , fixed myself some lunch and threw on a new set of overalls. I returned to Owen’s cottage a little over 2 and a half hours after I left them but , something seemed … off. I knocked on the front door but my knocks alone slowly stuttered the door open to a point where it began to sag. The hinges had been partially tor out embraced by splintered wood , the door mat mixed across the floor and a gentle sprinkling of broken glass littered the floor like snow.
“Mr Owen ? Everything alright buddy ?”
Silence.
I walked over the class with gentle crunches and tickles under my boots as it shifted unevenly below.
“It’s Will , I’m back with the piping for the tub.”
Silence still lingered with a sickly sense of dread.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a white folded bit of paper on top of the hot tub. With handwriting that seemed all to familiar even from a distance. I slid open the glass back door and approached the hot tub. I picked up the paper which read “ Guideline 68 ~ Unsightly Garden Furnishings (including not limited to - children’s play equipment , seating areas , HOT TUBS , swimming pools etc) must be run past the parish council for clearance - poor showing Mr Owen.” My stomach sank as I could hear something gently knocking on the side of the hot tub , i reluctantly lifted it only to let go and let it slam shut on its own volition allowing a mental picture of what I saw to be burnt into my mind. Mr Owen , mangled and stuffed into the hot tub like a flesh pretzel. Limbs contorted and twisted around each-other with bones splitting skin and filling with water bulged him up something sickly.
I threw up on the floor next to the tub and stumbled back into the glass door. The glass must have been close to shatter as when my weight hit the surface it crumbled around me as i fell onto the floor. I could feel fine glass gently cut at my clothes and skin as I scrambled to my feet and into the adjacent room. I took in my surroundings as I still felt a bit concussed from the attack earlier. Turning my head to the right I could see down the Owen’s hallway into the bedroom. I didn’t need to double take at the door at the end of the corridor. The wooden door had a hand nailed to the door clutching another piece of white paper in its delicately manipulated grip.
I crawled into a crouch into a full blown sprint out the door and straight to the police station. In the back of my mind i thought what if Jacob’s there , what if thy don’t believe me ?
No , they had to , I’ll make them believe me. It’s a whole team and only one Jacob. I don’t know how long I was running for by I slammed into the police station groggy and covered in glass ringing the bell , over and over again , BUZZZ BUZZZZ BUZZZZZ , screaming and shouting and thumping. The door swung open into the reception , officers and admin stood there bewildered.
“The Owens’ , MURDERED , IN THEIR OWN HOME , IT WAS HIM , THE PSYCHO , THE —“
Then sound began to fade , my vision narrowed , my body completely gave out.
I’d blacked out , completely. It was a condition I was prone to as a child , emotionally decompressing blackouts. When I came too I didn’t know where I was , it smelt like the police station but it was just an office , surrounded by officers.
“Goodness lad are you alright ? That was quite the scare you gave us” an officer beside me exclaimed , she held An ice pack on my head with genuine concern. Other officers stood around talking whith genuine concern and hushed tones. I tried to move my hands and legs but when I looked down they were cuffed.
“Get these fucking things off me” I panted through dazed vision and shortened breath.
The officer , who’s badge I could see as Officer Penny Fort , gently shook her head and explained “not yet lad , just need to clear your not a nutter , came in shouting and raving about murder ? We couldn’t take any chances you understand. Listen , would you mind coming with us to identify the household where the supposed murder took place ?”
Rational thought had begun to set in , I nodded in agreement and I was helped to my feet and into a police cruiser. Penny jumped in the front seat with another man , I didn’t catch his name but could tell they were close , his fingers lingered over hers as she shifted gears through the twists and turns of Brookmarsh till we reached the house.
“This is it , stop here this is the place” I pointed with cuffed hands at the Owens’ property. Something wasn’t right though, the door sat perfectly on hinges , garden looked trimmed and neat , the fenced gate to the back garden was now gone.
“I’ll stay with him hun , have a sweep for me , I’ll call in back up if I hear anything” Penny said to her significant other. The man was gone for no longer than a minute myself and Penny watched in anticipation for him to return.
Through the car window I could hear him shout “it’s empty Pen , no furniture, hot tubs , bodies , nothing” he made his way back to the cruiser half annoyed half relieved.
“No no no , this is all wrong ! The Owens were fucking murdered in there I saw it with my own eyes”
The male officers brow furrowed as he explained “The Owens’ havnt moved in yet … in fact they’ve withdrawn their offer on the house , and as of later today will be back on sale”
I sank into my seat , none of this was right , I pleaded my case over and over again but the officers just muttered and drove on . I thought through my incessant pleads and verbal abuse to the officers they would have taken me to the station again , instead we rocked up back at my house . The car trundled along the cobbled path and parked right outside the gate to my house. Penny rolled the windows up and turned to me.
“Look ..” Penny hushed “your obviously having some sort of mental episode , it’s okay there’s a lot going on , moving in somewhere new can be scary but … you need to stick to the guidelines okay ? They won’t tolerate imperfection for much longer.” With that she unlocked my cuffs and nodded her head for me to get out. I didn’t have the mental capacity any more to argue my case any more.
Maybe I was losing my mind again , that all this was in my head ? I know I’m an anxious guy and over think to a point of the absurd but …. No , I can’t go through this again , I can’t go back , this is real it’s got to be. This couldn’t all be in my head again. I staggered toward the front door and jostled the key till it clicked and opened up. I took a step inside and once again felt something crunch below my foot. This time however it wasn’t a corpse but a pamphlet.
“Sunny Horizons institute : curing neurodivergence one step at a time” I flipped it over in sheer disbelief and frustration. It’s a place constructed on evil and manipulative practice , aiming to fix conditions like autism and ADHD through electro shock therapy . On the back , scrawled in the same recognisable words read “ Let us fix him , to make him perfect , I see he attends Helping hands Special school , what an after school treat this will be for him”
I threw the pamphlet to the ground , jumped in my van and sped through the twists and turns this village possessed like a labyrinth of greenery and fields. The speedometer ticked passed 50 , 60 , 70 mph , gaining speed as shrubbery whipped paint of the side of the van , but I couldn’t stop. I finally reached the school slamming on the breaks and dead sprinting for the front office.
I tried to compose myself a little before entering as not to have another incident like before at the station. I entered the building , bright colours and strong smells of play dough and crayons dazed me as I approached the desk.
“I’m here to pick Up Elliot Pine , he’s got a Doctors appointment to review his medication” I handed over my ID and was glad my performance was believable enough to bring him right out to me. I scooped him up , and paced back to the van , strapping him in and jumping in the drivers seat. I stalled the van at first but then got it going with a spit and rev and floored it with no intention of going back. I looked in the rear view mirror to see a man , dressed in a white suit , a disgusting grin and a performative wave.
I looked at Elliot with relief that he was okay and I’d got there just in time.
“Let’s get you home to Mummy and Grandma , we can have your favourite food for dinner , pizza from dominos how does that sound ?” I wasn’t expecting him to reply , but time stood still as he said -
“P - p - perfect”
*First bit of writing I’ve done in a while ! Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated so I can build and focus on this. I’ve been recently diagnosed ADHD and love to write and be creative but lack attention at times (if there’s any writers with ADHD who has any tips to help with writing it’d be greatly appreciated!!)