Can meltdowns be masked/hidden if the autistic person grows up in an environment unsafe to 'express' it?
I dont really have big loud meltdowns that people around me would notice, but sometimes I still feel like Im having a meltdown internally. I hear the voice screaming in my head and feel the urge to crash out (like break smt, etc.) but I just act like everything's fine, keep going. It sucks but it's not THAT hard for me to act calm.
I don't have enough memory of my childhood to be able to tell if what I had were tantrums or meltdowns, but Im pretty sure I was actally feeling big emotions and not just tryna be dramatic. Whenever I started acting like that my parents made me stop pretty fast or even got angry.
I think I was having meltdowns but learend that showing these things would just make my situation worse so I leaned to mask it? Im just teally confused because I haven't heared anyone talk about this.