Conflicted over cane use
Hello, not sure if I’m in the right place for this but here goes. (I tried to post in the disability subreddit, but I don’t have enough karma apparently? I get it I guess but that seems like an unfair way to filter who can reach out for help..) I’ve had fluctuating knee pain in both knees for close to 10 years now, getting more frequent/worse over time. They’re not always bad, but they flare occasionally and when they flare I cannot put any weight on the affected knee while it’s bent at all. I have a cane that I use occasionally on days where I’m flaring or when I know I will need to do a lot of walking or standing, but recently I’ve been having more active flares and I’ve been considering bringing it with me to work for the days when it’s bad.
The problem is, I don’t need it all the time, and even when I do need it, I can still get around without one, even if I limp a little. Additionally, I don’t have anything officially diagnosed yet (I have a referral to a rheumatologist for autoimmune issues but I haven’t been able to see them yet.) I’m also only 29, and I look quite young, and I work in a small office where everyone knows everyone else’s business.
I guess what I’m trying to figure out is, what is the point where it’s “acceptable” to need a cane? If anyone else has had trouble with this, what was the point that made you feel like you were “allowed” to use your accommodation? Is there any way to avoid the questions, opinions, or special treatment if I use one? It makes me really uncomfortable when people offer to do things for me when I have my cane, because I feel like I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself and since I don’t need one 24/7 I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m taking advantage of them or something. Does anyone have any advice for this? I feel like the cane helps me but I can’t shake the fear that I’m just “faking” (or appear to be).