Am I Overthinking or Is My Merchant Navy Boyfriend Hiding Something?
I’ve been dating a merchant navy guy (South Indian, 28) while I’m Bengali, 23. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now. We matched on Tinder, and in the beginning everything seemed really good. We used to talk a lot, and he would text me whenever he got time from work.
After talking for around 4–5 months, he came to my hometown to surprise me. We met, went to watch a movie, and spent a lot of time talking about ourselves. He was caring, fed me food, took care of me, and even brought me a gift from Singapore. I refused to take it at first, but he secretly kept it in my bag. Honestly, he was being really sweet.
But there was one thing that kept bothering me — he was extremely secretive about his phone. At one point, I asked him to show me pictures of his family members, but he refused. I took his phone and asked him to open it, but he said there were some “confidential things” on it that he couldn’t show me. I told him I only wanted to see his family photos, but his hands literally started shaking and he quickly took the phone back from me.
Earlier, he had told me that his mother is Bengali and his father is South Indian. But after that incident, I started doubting everything, and it’s honestly been eating me up from inside.
We’ve been talking since 2024, and after that incident he still keeps asking me to meet him again, but I’ve refused. A part of me feels like I don’t want to continue this relationship, even though he constantly says he loves me, wants to marry me, and build a family with me. But his suspicious behavior stops me from trusting him fully.
So I really want honest opinions — especially from anyone in the merchant navy or people who have dated someone in that profession. Is it normal to be this protective about a phone, especially the photo gallery section? Am I wrong for feeling suspicious, or are my concerns valid?
I finally found a platform where I can say what I truly feel. What are your thoughts on this?
• Also, I have one more question. Can someone work in the Merchant Navy and the Indian Navy at the same time? He says some things that confuse me sometimes, so I genuinely want to understand if that’s even possible or normal.