u/Bob002

And by that, I mean, how do you approach a major event?

For me, I had a seizure at the end of March. Because of my job - insurance sales - my boss wants me cleared by neuro prior. Totally understand that as any sort of cognitive decline could cause a loss of monies for the client and therefore the company.

Downside is that I cannot get into neuro until August. Trying a few things, but overall, I'm out of work until at least then. Also, due to the fact that we don't know the exact root cause of the seizure (thinking it was chemo I was taking), I am basically on limited duty; doc basically said something as simple as an argument could set another off.

Because of all this - I plan for the worst. I cannot ignore the potential realities that my life may have been completely upended, so I plan as such with the hope that things will continue as normal.

I've been in this for 12 yrs now. For the most part, my ish has been relatively mild, but has ramped up in the last year.

I've done fundraisers here and there, mainly when things first started and we were having ot make regular trips to St. Louis (4 hrs away) and when I lost my teeth. But overall, things have been pretty manageable otherwise.

But, as I said, things have ramped up. I'll spare the details, but there are some things I need to take care of that I don't know if I'll be physically able, but I am ALSO not one to ask for charity help. At the same time, funds are limited as I am off work until I can see a neurologist.

Tell me I'm not alone in this. And I know a lot of the "whys" around this - I just cannot get past it.

I posted a little over a month back that I'd had a seizure; post was deleted. I get it. but, I'm the guy with cancer (for 12+ yrs) that has posted off and on. (Last post)[https://www.reddit.com/r/bjj/comments/1rdozeq/health\_update\_down\_10\_lbs/\]

But basically, due to not knowing what was the cause of the seizure (meds or just straight bp), Oncologist won't release me. I do have an MRI in 2 wks, which has potential to help. I'll be changing chemos due to a specific variant. But as of right now, I don't know that I'll ever step foot on a mat again.

And, well, that just ain't set right with me. Granted, I am generally team "risk it for the biscuit", but I do have a wife and children to think about.

So, not only can I not work for 3+ months (have to be cleared by neurology to return to work) but I'm facing one of my worst fears. My mental health with not being able to work, etc, was already bad enough. This did NOT help, in the slightest.