Advice
Hi everyone!
I’m sorry if this kind of post isn’t welcome here. I’m just a little lost and would love some insight.
I’ve always been into Wicca and tarot, but admittedly never had much guidance. I fell victim to intense spiritual manipulation years and years ago. The aftermath of that trauma all came to a head last year. I did tarot readings that I severely misinterpreted. Thought I was doing intense spiritual work releasing trauma and ending cycles. When it came to my love life, I entirely misinterpreted everything and led myself into what I believe was psychosis. My partner tried to get into Wicca with me but immediately held authority and said I was using Wicca for nasty evil purposes. I was scared, but turned selfish.
I’m now living with my parents who are incredibly catholic. They want me to just confess all my sins to the church. That my tarot opened up portals to demons. I’ll admit I did some awful things. I ended up lashing out at everyone as all my trauma was coming out to a head. I even cheated on my partner believing he was also an abuser, just to ultimately realize he loved me so much just had his own trauma as well.
Ive done so much damage through this and im ashamed. I believe i went against every Wicca belief as my intention was selfish and I hurt others. I just want guidance from my spirits but feel like I’ve destroyed my right to even practice Wicca.
I guess all this to say, what would any of you make of this? You can be harsh and let me have it. You can let me know I’m not welcome to practice Wicca. I’m just lost and scared and genuinely don’t trust myself anymore.