I did it! And so can you!
I finally managed to bring myself on a plane after many past failed attempts.
And it was sooo smooth. Sure, it was a short flight (1.20hr), but I managed to break a long string of failed boardings.
I tricked my brain into thinking I was simply on a train and it worked.
What really helped was the diverse distractions that I brought with me. First of all, a pair of noise-cancelling headphones (life savers, they had the biggest impact as they sheltered and isolated me). Also I download a bunch of very happy (almost childish) netflix movies to keep my mood up. Finally also snacks helped.
My emotions were spiraling down as the date of the flight was approaching. The minutes before boarding were awful. I cried a few times. But as soon as i was on the plane my mind managed to go into some sort of protection mode, carefully choosing any type of awesome distraction.
I am now in Bruxelles!
If I could do it, so can you. I can assure you that