u/Brigite66

Greta Jurossi: The innocent love he lost before the war.

Grace Burgess: The soul he lost forever.

Grace was the woman who gave him everything, only to leave him in total darkness. Notice how his mind always goes back to Grace? She wasn't just a heartbreak, she was the only light he ever knew.

There’s a reason why the flashbacks only show Grace. Greta was a memory of youth, but Grace was the life he actually chose and fought for.

"Once, I nearly got fucking everything. But nearly doesn't count."

When Tommy is about to die, he sees fragments of his life flash before his eyes. The people in those visions are Ruby, Polly, Arthur, Charlie, and, of course, Grace. The choices of Grace’s scenes are deeply symbolic: we see their first time making love, her confession about being a spy, her request at the wedding to leave the dangerous business, and the iconic "sad or happy" scene.

But here is the most important detail: the flashback shows parts of Season 1 where Tommy and Grace are getting ready for the races. In S1, we see Grace changing in her house and Tommy changing in his. They are not together in that scene. Physically speaking, Tommy could never "remember" this because he wasn't there.

This shows that Steven Knight and the director wanted to show us something much more than just memories of Tommy. It's a gypsy-style omniscient transition to the afterlife. Their souls were tragically intertwined from day one, and even when they were in separate houses, they were preparing for each other. Now she is preparing to welcome him home. And he is preparing, cleansing his sins and darkness, to meet her again.

Finally his answer to "sad or happy?" changes. His earthly life was devastatingly sad, but his last seconds prove that his eternity will finally be happy with her. No, Lizzie, no May, no politics, no business. just Grace.

Steven Knight recently said in an interview that he always knew that Tommy was always going to die at the end. So for Tommy, she was never a memory of the past, she was always the destination

For someone who likes sex so much, he seems very unhappy and empty afterwards... Except for a woman.

The only time we see a different Tommy is with Grace in Season 1. After they are together, he is relaxed, he is smiling, and he says those famous words: "I don't hear the shovels against the wall".

Even with May , the show us that right after being with her, he goes to his office just to call Grace and hear her voice.

And in the movie when he is with Kaulo, that look of misery and detachment hasn't changed.

After S3, the only time he smiled was for Ruby, at the end of S4. And S6, when he saw that she was no longer sick and when he thought he was dead and saw her spirit/hallucination.

And S5 when he saw Grace's hallucination also smiled. That's it. 😪

A lot of people debate Tommy's character development, but the truth is in his eyes. In Season 1, we saw a man actually coming back to life. With Grace, the connection wasn't just passion, it was humanity.

If you pay attention to the details, she is the only woman Tommy truly smiles with. He caresses her, looks her directly in the eyes with tenderness, and is "present" in every moment. Their intimacy was based on vulnerability, both showing themselves completely, It wasn't a transactional, its was pure connection.

The shift after her death was so sad to watch. Tommy moved from hope back to nihilism. He stopped caressing, stopped kissing with feeling, and stopped being emotionally present. With everyone else, his body was there, but his mind was always somewhere else. He married for convenience and had sex out of habit or need, but he never looked at anyone the same way again.

In the end, Grace wasn't just a love interest, she was the only light that post-war Tommy had. Everything that came after was just an empty man trying to survive until... Well movie.

In my opinion, Tommy was not the only one who lost his light but the show too.

That's why I also think that it wouldn't have been the same if he chose May, because she wasn't his light, he wouldn't have changed with her, he would have been the same Tommy, only with a rich woman and a short marriage, since she wouldn't have put up with his darkness and indifference.

The difference with Lizzie is that she needed the money and wanted to live in luxury, since she had never experienced it, she depended on Tommy, but May was always rich, she didn't need that, why would she want to be with a depressive man who is still mourning the death of his wife, and takes opium to be able to see her?