Two weeks ago we said goodbye to our 10, almost 11 year old boy. 😭
As the title says two weeks ago today, we had to make the heartbreaking decision to let our boy Arthur go. He was 10, almost 11 and for the last two almost three years he had lived with Feline Acromegaly which had brought on insulin resistant diabetes.
He had been doing so well. We were managing the diabetes the best we could, although his numbers were never low due to the insulin resistance, but he was on a med called Galastop to try and help the acromegaly, which in all honesty is what I think gave us another two almost three years because our vet has said that cats who are diagnosed with acromegaly usually only last a few months.
But, he went down hill pretty much over night. The day before had been completely normal, a part from he had had a poop in my bedroom during the night, which he never did and the next morning he hardly ate his breakfast, which again he loved food and would usually gobble it down. He went into hiding and we found sick where he was hiding and then upon trying to drink he immediately threw it up. We went straight to the vets and he was admitted and put on fluids, as he was dehydrated. It turned out he was in diabetic ketoacidosis, which had never happened to him before. It was a shock. He spent the night in the vets on fluids, but by Wednesday morning he was getting no better and his numbers continued to climb. We had always said we would never just keep him going if he was suffering, which he was.
So, off to the vet we went, we took his brother with us so that he wasn’t wondering where he went and the vet nurse brought him in wrapped in a blanket and a bandage on his leg to protect the catheter that was there. We loved on him, we fussed and stroked him, told him over and over how much we loved him, how thankful we were for him and how he has been so brave and fought for so long how thankful we were for him and how he has been so brave and fought for long as he could that we knew his body was tired and that he could go to sleep now. How we would miss him, but we knew he would always be around watching over us and his brother. He purred his loud purr that we now miss so much and then as the vet injected the medicine he slowly laid down upon the table and laid his head on my hand and I broke all over again.
So, now two whole weeks without or boys physical presence have passed and there have been ups and downs, going over every single moment; could we have saved him? Should we have brought him home? Does he know we would have done anything to save him? That we did all that we could. The guilt in grief hits like a mac truck, you go over every little decision and blame yourself for every little thing even if you know you did all you could, grief is a bitch and makes you doubt every little thing.
Then we brought home his ashes and it hit all over again that he was gone.
Two weeks with a new routine. Two weeks without hearing his voice. Two weeks without stroking his fur and kissing his head. Two weeks without his purrs of delight. Two weeks without him begging for food. Two weeks without seeing him. Two weeks some days it feels like forever, other days it’s like it was just yesterday.
We miss you our boy. We miss every single thing about your presence in our family and in our home. There is a big Arthur shaped hole in our lives and in our hearts. Thank you for the ten, almost eleven years of unconditional love. We will miss you forever. Rest easy our sweet boy.