Not sure how to feel about a move I’ve wanted for years
Hey everyone so maybe you all can help me feel better or give me some advice. I’m currently a second year teacher finishing up the year teaching 6th grade English. Coming into this job I applied to a ton and only was called back by this one, they really liked me and brought me in and it’s been a great fit, I haven’t had any real issues and have done a lot for the school and the district. The only thing that is an exception - I’m a social studies teacher by trade. I did my student teaching in it, got my bachelors in it, and am going for my masters now in a social studies related field. So naturally when I heard an 8th grade social studies teacher was retiring in our school after this year I was instantly excited. No other social studies jobs ever called me back and not many open up (for obvious reasons), so I had a meeting with my principal in the beginning of the year to let her know I was interested. She told me back then she was happy I was interested and that once the teacher who was retiring put in her letter we could start the process. Well, that didn’t happen until last week, long story short I applied, got the invite for my demo, and only had a weekend to prepare it.
I had asked another social studies teacher in the building to help me create the lesson and he was amazing and helped me a ton, and finally when the time came I went and did my demo. Every day before it I was more and more nervous, and during it I could notice myself messing up and getting more nervous and speaking faster and faster. Afterward, I had a sit down q&a with all the admin who watched my demo and I felt like I nailed every single question, overall feeling unsure of my chances.
Today I had a meeting with my principal and she told me she was offering me the job, and before I could have a moment to react too positively she told me that my lesson was terrible and there were so many things I messed up on. It crushed me instantly and we spent the next 15 mins talking about how she’s giving me the opportunity because she knows social studies is my passion, but I need to be open to coaching and more training (which I am don’t get me wrong). So now I’m at home and I finally got the job I’ve wanted for a long time and most people would kill for, but I feel discouraged and sad. Maybe someone out there has gone through something else similar, or just has some advice? I can’t even talk to my other teachers about it because until she announces all switches this year I have to keep it quiet. Sorry for the long rambling and thank you in advance for anyone who makes it this far!
TLDR: I got offered the social studies dream job I’ve wanted for years but also was told that my teaching skills were terrible and that I need to be ready to be coached.