Using a throwaway and initials so the Prince doesn’t find me.
Today, I (18M) slewed my wife’s (13F) cousin (20M) but let me give you the details since I did not slay him out of nowhere. My wife’s cousin, T, went up to my buddies, B and M, in the streets to find me. I was just trying to find my friends after secretly marrying J (T’s cousin) which no one knows about yet. Upon my arrival, I saw that pox-marked T, who then said to me, “No better term than this: thou art a villain.” “Villain I am NONE.” Since he is kin to me now, I told him farewell to keep the peace. Like, I’m not trying to brawl you, dude. But T would not back down and told me that I hast caused harm to him, and I had to turn and draw him.
First, I’m genuinely confused why he is saying I hurt him because “I never injured thee.” If anything, at that moment, he meant a lot to me since he means a lot to my Sun, J. Again, I really did not want to beef with him, so I told him the Capulets’ name is a “name I tender / As dearly as mine own,” even if he didn’t understand it yet. And I know you guys are going to drag me in the comments but I legit cannot tell anyone how I’m married to J, y'all don’t understand. The timing isn’t right and our families HATE each other. Even my best friends don’t know.
Then, M saw my response as dishonorable and drew his sword. He hath called T a ratcatcher and the prince of cats. Oh my friend M, he is a humorous one but prithee he will get himself injured. Now is NOT the time to be making jokes. But I guess he was really serious about taking one of T’s nine lives. I told good M to “put thy rapier up.” I really tried to get ‘twixt them to beat down their weapons. At this point I am COOKED, they can’t fight in the streets of Verona like this; the Prince is gonna get us. Not too long ago we just got yelled by the Prince in the streets.
Alas, T stabbed my friend M. Silly me, I really thought T did not get him good so I told M to man-up since “the hurt cannot be much.” Looking back now, I really regret saying that; he was my closest friend. He told me he was a dead man now and wonders “Why the devil came you between us?” I can’t believe he got hurt because of me, I am such, such a bad friend. Oh J, you have made me so distracted with thy beauty and made me soft.
I had nothing to lose; I lost my homeboy. He’s been there for my ups, downs, girl problems, family problems, and still managed to make me laugh in my deep sorrows. This time around T is gonna be catching strays, and best believe I made sure M will be avenged. It was a blur. I was so filled with anger and hatred, all I saw was red and I had at it with T. Ultimately, with my sword he died. I am not happy about it but he came in looking for a fight and I ended it.
Soon enough, word spread quickly that T and M were slewed, and the Prince was coming now. I don’t know where my dawg B was to break up the brawl, but at least I had him to explain to the Prince the full story. The Prince told our families, “Immediately we do exile him hence,” which I guess is lenient, but that means I can’t see my beloved. No one understands how this is like living death, not seeing my wife, the Sun, who took me out of darkness. I had ne’er felt love until my eyes laid upon her, even though I met her simply two days ago.
So, am I the cur for slaying my wife’s cousin?
(this is a school project FYI)