Feeling Trapped
I desperately want to quit vaping and I’ve read a lot of success stories but it’s hard to gauge what amount people are vaping. They say all day but without knowing the dosage it doesn’t fill me with confidence because when I say I’m an addict I mean I’m using the equivalent of 80-100 cigarettes a day in my vape.
I vape 50mg salt nicotine (the highest legal dose) in a 3mL .4ohm pod that is set at 25W and fully open airflow. I go through one full pod a day. I’m fully aware that I am aggressively poisoning myself. It isn’t just excess it’s complete nicotine poisoning.
I’m a 29y F and have been vaping heavily since I was 22. I was an alcoholic and no matter how many times I tried to quit I couldn’t, rehab, shots monthly, group 3 times a week, etc etc etc. It wasn’t until I read Allen Carr’s Easyway to Quit Drinking that it changed. I read it and not only never had another drink again but also never have had any desire or craving again. So with that in mind I purchased his Easway to Quit Vaping. I finished it, I went a few hours before bed without vaping. I woke up for the first time in weeks without that bronchitis feeling in my chest. But immediately needed a puff of nicotine. My body was practically screaming at me and I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts. The second I gave in and took a drag I immediately went from feeling decent physically to nauseous and a headache. The mental aspect was relieved but my physical wellbeing went straight in the toilet.
I know I’m destroying myself. I don’t want to be a slave to this anymore. But as I mentioned so many success stories with vaping are too vague as far as the actual amount being used. Puffing away on a disposable all day doesn’t give me enough context as to how much is being used so it makes me anxious that the addiction maybe isn’t as severe as mine currently is and therefore makes me fear I won’t have any success in what worked for them.
And to be clear this isn’t a flex; I’m not trying to say “mines worse than yours” because it’s something I’m so ashamed over and would sell my soul to make it stop. I just am simply trying to have all the facts and hopefully find someone with the same or similar level of addiction as I do who has had success to help instill some kind of hope and path for me to take to finally kill this beast.
I’ve been looking into Desmoxan even though it isn’t legalized here yet but has been used in Europe successfully for decades. And in trials of Desmoxan and Chantix only 4.4% of people had side effects with Desmoxan vs 33.3% of people on Chantix. And I am extremely sensitive to medications so I often always am that percentage who encounters the side effects.
I also have ADHD and am already on a stimulant so adding such high nicotine- another stimulant, to my diet worries me greatly. I’m so afraid this is going to keep me in a chokehold for life and I just want to feel better physically and mentally and not be dependent on sucking on a stupid little device full of poison.
Any advice of what has worked for you as a fellow obscenely high nicotine vaper is greatly appreciated.