Untethered - Chapter One
I understand a great many things that I was never meant to know, things that cost me more than I anticipated when I first stumbled into them. What I could never understand, despite everything, is whether any of it was worth it.
Three hundred and sixty-nine years is such a long time to exist. Long enough that I wonder if the silence will finish me. Long enough to understand the consequences of what I have paid for. Long enough to know I would buy again tomorrow despite what it fucking costs.
The current ashborne lifespan has been trending downward for millennia, from seven hundred years in the age of darkness, to its current measly two hundred and eighty-year average. Despite this, I will probably live to eight or nine hundred years. Gods! Another five hundred fucking years to go!
If I were stronger, I would just end it, killing myself as so many ashborne do anymore when confronted with facing a lifetime of watching any human they love or care for wither and die while they retain their youth. But I’m too much of a coward.
Or maybe it’s vanity? How can I, being the only one with the burden of this longevity, just end it early? What a waste that would be. But why do I give a fuck? Why does it matter when no one will even know I’m gone, nor will they ever guess what was lost. I am a self-kept secret, one formed in a brothel in the middle of fuck-all nowhere…
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Jonith pumps steadily into me, his hot breath hitting my neck as he holds me against the wall, his arms hooked under my legs. His grunts mix with the sound of his skin smacking mine, in a way that anywhere else would be considered obscenely loud. It’s usually pretty fucking hot, even for me, a symphony that I’m so familiar with, but still lights a fire deep in my belly. But not today.
Today, the moans that I’m producing are just that, production, not reaction. It’s not Joni’s fault, well not entirely. There is nothing wrong with his means of fucking; it’s not world-shattering, but it does the job well and I find him to be sweet and likable.
I run my fingers down the ridge of his spine, letting my nails dig gently into the warmth of his skin. Beads of sweat, drop from his forehead, splattering against my breast, a few making it past to land on my stomach. My own sweat has left a sheen on my bleach-white skin, making the purple hue of my nipples stand out even more.
The sight should fuel the fire that usually burns below my stomach, but it’s just warm coals right now. He’s such a fucking idiot. Who the fuck decides that the best time to just uproot someone’s life is a few seconds after they start sucking your cock?
He thinks his being grand and romantic, but in reality, he is just so fucking naive. For a man who is thirty two years old, he acts like a teenager sometimes.
“We finally did it, Xishu,” he pants, “We are going to get out of this place and make a new life for ourselves. A life where you don’t have to live like this anymore.”
“Oh gods, yes!” I scream, sounding as full of want and desire as if it were real.
“I fucking love you so much, baby!”
“I love you, Joni. Gods, I love you! Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop!”
His pace picks up, and I can feel his body beginning to tense. Just a few seconds more, and then…
“Oh fuck! I’m cumming Joni!”
His muscles pull taut as his cock jerks furiously inside of me, pushing small spurts of warm liquid into me. I match his spasms, jerking my body in time to his, playing my part perfectly, the beats well rehearsed and performed time and time again.
His arms quiver from the combined strain of his release and holding my body weight for what has probably been close to five or six minutes. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling myself into him, while I exaggerate the jerking of my hips..
Joni drinks it in. Completely unaware of the fantasy being played out.
“Fuck, baby.” I pant, making my breath rapid and shaky.
He withdraws from me, small strands of his semen stretch out between us for a moment before breaking. His arms lower and I use his neck to hold myself up for a second until I can plant my bare feet on the cool floor once more.
I should probably kiss him; I am, after all, the damsel he is saving. My lips push against his, and he returns the kiss for a moment before pulling back, his eyes bright with excitement.
“They said this morning that my paperwork should be ready in a few days. You will need to sign the forms before we can finalize the transfer, but I had everything taken care of.”
He kisses the tip of my nose and laughs, “You can’t believe how hard it has been to keep all of it a secret. I wanted to tell you so many times!”
Yeah, thanks for that one, Joni. Su-fucking-prise…
“It’s perfect! I just can’t believe you did all of this for us.”
I can’t believe you did this at fucking all! What was he thinking? Actually, I know what he was thinking; it’s just… fuck man, what the fuck?
He tucks the left side of my hair behind my long, pointed ear before gently caressing the tip.
“You’re so beautiful, do you know that?”
Yes, I am fully aware of my looks. Even for an ashborne in a small, remote mining district, I stand out amongst the rest of the female crowd here. It’s not arrogance, just the way it is, and feigning ignorance of it is just pathetic. But being pathetic is a turn-on for so many men, apparently.
“You’re just blinded by love.”
His smile broadens as my not-so-subtle strokes to his ego inflate it the same way my lips inflated his cock. I want to slap him, hoping it will drive some sense into him, but I know better. Joni’s romantic notions are painfully misplaced and childish, but they are also the means I will use to move forward with my life.
“I’ve never seen more clearly in my life,” he says, completely serious.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, I don’t know if he gets these lines from a book or TV or what, but it’s so predictable. Normally I can enjoy it for what it is, like seeing a cute little pet who is just glad you are home finally. Ok, that’s a bit harsh, maybe, but fuck it. I’m fucking pissed.
I knew this was coming. I mean, that’s kinda been the whole point of indulging his fantasies beyond the norm for a whore in a brothel, but I expected to have at least a bit of a heads-up beyond just a few days. He only started seeing me regularly about five months ago. Even Bri hadn’t thought it would go this fast, even though the whole thing was her idea.
Mom thought it was cruel to use him like this, and I don’t entirely disagree, but mom is also content to remain here, providing pleasure and comfort for those willing to pay. Don’t get me wrong, fucking is a pretty good way to make a living. It pays decently, and while most of the clients I take care of are only worried about getting off and leaving, there are still a few who know how to return the favor.
Joni grabs his pile of clothes from the foot of my bed and begins dressing. I grab the light sheer mesh tunic I wear between sessions and slip it on over my head, the gentle fabric caressing my damp skin as it unfolds itself around me.
Joni pauses, one leg in his pants and a frown blooming on his lips.
“Xishu? I didn’t mess this up, did I? Like, should I have told you sooner or waited until the paperwork was processed?
Fucking obviously, you should have told me sooner!
“No, Joni, it’s perfect. I can’t wait for us to leave here together.” I coo.
He instantly returns to his smile, the sliver of common sense pushed out with one simple assurance from me.
“Good, I’m glad. I want this to be everything we have ever dreamed of.”
He resumes getting dressed, and I pretend to brush out my long hair to give me enough time to compose myself. I can do this. It’s not like I have a lot to take with me; it’s just I wanted more time. More time to come to terms with leaving, mom and Bri… but I knew that was coming so I can’t turn away now because it will be painful.
His arms wrap around me from behind, pulling me back into the moment.
“I wish I could stay here all day with you to celebrate, but my shift starts in thirty minutes,” he sighs into my neck.
“Mmm, I know, me too, baby.” I reach an arm back and run my fingers through his short hair. “But even if you didn’t have to work, I still have clients booked out for the rest of the day. But soon we will have all the time in the world together, just you and me.”
“Who gets to have my sloppy seconds?” Joni chuckles after he kisses my neck and lets me go.
“Chun, I think.”
“Well, I hope he knows just how lucky he is to be spending time with you.” Joni laughs.
The fact that I fuck people for a living has never seemed to bother Joni. I don’t think it’s because he is just accepting of it, though that’s probably part of it. I think it doesn’t matter to him, because in his head, he is the only one that actually matters to me.
I force a laugh that sounds perfectly natural and turn to pull him into me and kiss him with a passion that isn’t there. He grabs my waist, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth. I suck on it, moaning into his hungry mouth.
He pulls back once more, and I resist letting go, as if I just can’t get enough of him.
“If we don’t stop now, neither of us will be getting to our jobs today.”
“Is that so bad?”
I want to tense, the dread that he will actually try to stay here, cooling in my gut. But thankfully, he takes a few steps backward toward the door.
“Like you said, we will have all the time in the world together soon, and we will need the money once we get to Haldron.”
“You’re right, of course.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“I’ll be waiting for you,” I say, like some lovesick girl in a romance novel.
He turns and finally leaves out the door into the main hall of the brothel.
My shoulders sag the second the door latches behind him, and it takes all my strength to engage the lock behind him before I slump against the wall and let my body slide down to the floor.
“Fuck!”
Joni, you fucking idiotic fool. I let my head fall into my hands, groaning in frustration. Maybe I will just tell him the truth right before he leaves and stay here for now. I can wait for my next opportunity to come along. I don’t need to leave right now. I’m only twenty-one; I have plenty of good years ahead of me.
Even as I try to rationalize my fear, I know it’s not good enough. I’ve never been much good at lying to myself. Maybe that’s why I’m so good at lying to others.
I’ve known for years now that there was nothing for me here. There is an ambition that burns inside of my deepest core, that refuses to let me stay here.
I’m not sure what it is that I’m looking for exactly, but I know I won’t find it here. Bri helped me to see that. She is the only one, who isn’t my mother, who knows the true me. Who sees exactly who I am and won’t let me hold myself back.
Haldron was only the first step. I will work my way across the globe until I can make it to Nexus Prime, the heart beating at the core of Veridia. The task is daunting, but if there is some potential inside me, some greater purpose for my life, it will be there.
Bri told me stories of that city from her childhood, long before she ended up working the mining belts. The city is a hard place, but so are the mining districts. The difference is Nexus provides opportunities for those willing to take them that can’t be matched anywhere else.
I look at the display built into the far wall. Chun will be here in ten minutes. Normally I’d wash up between clients, but the pudgy shift supervisor likes it when I have someone else’s cum inside me, and I didn’t mind letting him lick it out of me. He isn’t half bad at getting me off with his tongue, and seems to enjoy getting me off, which is nice. But right now, my mind is too out of it to even care.
I’ve had many days where my heart isn’t in it and I have to force myself to play out my part. Even fucking can be boring when it’s your job. But today is not just an off-day. My head and heart fight back and forth, trying to work through something I have already committed to. I want Bri here, but she won’t be done with her shift for another five hours.
I could cancel the rest of my clients for the day, tell them I am sick, or that I mistimed my period this month. But then what do I do? Mom’s got her normal rounds of clients, and doesn’t need more pain on top of what I’m already causing her. Triss is off in about an hour once he finishes with his regulars, but I don’t think that I want to be around him anymore than I do anybody else right now.
So I guess that leaves me with one genuine option. Do what I do best and fake it through the rest of the day until Bri gets here.
I take a deep breath, gathering my resolve, just as the knock on my door signals Chun’s arrival. I push myself up and compose my face into a warm, welcoming smile as I unlatch the door.
I can’t let myself overthink this. It doesn’t matter if it’s today, tomorrow, or a hundred fucking years from today. Leaving the only place I have ever known will always hurt. But if I don’t follow through and I back out now, I will hate myself forever.
Chun’s face is mischievous, as if we are meeting in secret, about to cross some unknown line. I empty my head and let myself fall into my routine. I lick my lips, as if just the sight of him is driving me wild.
“Hi Chun,” I moan his name.
“Are you prepared for me, my good little slut?” He asked his eyes, drinking my body.
“My pussy is so wet, just waiting for you to clean it up for me, master. All I could think of you while my pussy was getting fucked was that you would be here later to lick the cum of those other men out of me, like the good little whore I am.”
And that’s what I am for him for the next hour. And then for Staisha an hour later as I lick her ass while she fucks herself with the oversized dildo I keep for her. I am just a simple whore, pleasing my faithful patrons one after the other. Nothing more, and nothing less.
By the time the last two clients leave, a man and his husband, who like to have me watch them while I play with myself, I feel better. Not great, but I have always found sex in all of its various forms has a level of therapeutic value to it.
Fucking is the purest form of communication between beings once you understand how to read it. It’s raw and primal, built into us so deeply that most are blind to the conversation being had. It’s also brutally honest.
People deceive themselves way more than they do others. If any of them cared to look or to be honest with themselves, they would see right through my act. But they simply don’t want to. I don’t have to convince them of anything. They have already convinced themselves; all I have to do is play the part they assign me.
I am in the small bathroom attached to my room cleaning myself up as the front door to my room unlocks and someone enters. I know who it is before I even stick my head out to look.
The sight of Bri standing there lets the last of my tension leave my body. The smile that parts my lips gently is entirely its own; my body reacting instead of just acting for the first time since Joni’s visit.
“Hey.”
Even after five years, I still feel a sense of giddiness when I see her that I never even try to contain. To the casual observer, Bri looks no older than her late thirties; her face and body are still stunning. But if you care to look, you can see the years built up in her eyes, the way all ashborne carry them.
Bri shakes her head at me as my cheeks flush blue, and my nipples begin to harden just from knowing what will happen soon. I step out of the bathroom fully, presenting my freshly cleaned body to her for inspection.
She is the reason that I keep everything inch of myself completely hairless below my neck, just the way she wants me to be. She looks me over and gives a small nod of approval.
“Did lover boy drop the bomb?”
Her voice is gruff, with what most mistake as an overly masculine edge to it. In truth, it’s the result of living hard for two hundred and thirty-seven years. Bri is in what ashborne often refers to as the twilight era of her life. But that’s just the poetic way of saying her body is finally starting to let go. That invisible tie that anchors us for so many years to our youth, finally slipping.
I huff in response to her dismissal of Joni’s declaration.
“Yep, he sure as shit did. Thanks for the heads up by the way.”
She shrugs nonchalantly, reaching down to pull her shirt up and over her head.
“I only learned about it this morning.”
“And you rushed right over to tell me.”
“I have other concerns and responsibilities beyond you, girl,” she scolds, in a tone that I know well, one that my body responds to instinctively.
“Really? Is that why you keep coming to me to lick your old lady cunt?”
I let my eyes drink in her body as her bra is removed next. Bri holds a gentle layer of fat that rounds out and softens her curves in a way that makes my mouth water. But below that lies a framework of muscle, hard-earned and built up from years of hard labor. Her breasts are full and heavy, and I ache to touch them, feel the soft flesh beneath my own, take the dark buds of her nipples between my lips. Fuck, I’m getting myself worked up already.
Her eyes are feral as she reads the lust on my own, but her lips form into a cold leer.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, girl. I come back to you because I can’t be bothered to train another one of you in the correct ways to treat a woman’s body.”
Her dismissal primes my need to please her. My body tensing, waiting for her to release me, and she knows it.
“Now if you are done whining, then get over her and do your job, whore.”
“Yes, misu.”
I control my pace as I walk to her and kneel before her, my hand going to the five buttons of her pants. I work each one open slowly, not rushing until told to. With each button I undo, and each new centimeter of light grey skin that reveals itself to me, my need builds. The white curls of her pubic hair give way to the first dark blue folds of skin until her delicate womanhood is exposed to my hungry eyes.
I pull her pants down, helping her step out of them one leg at a time and then I look up to her, the musky smell of her sex filling my nose like a drug.
I have no great love for the natural smell of a body. In fact, I prefer my clients to be freshly washed, though that doesn’t always happen. But it wouldn’t matter if Bri had just crawled from a pile of shit; I will always willingly partake of her.
I stare up at her with pleading eyes, silently begging for permission. A small, disinterested nod is the only sign I get, and it’s all I need. I bury my face into the apex of her thighs, her scent and taste filling every part of my brain.
My tongue works greedily between her folds until I find the swollen nub of her clit. There is no foreplay for Bri. Where most women desire the slow stoking of that flame inside them, Bri only wants my utter devotion and unrelenting need.
She reaches down and grabs my hair, pulling the top of my head back while pushing my mouth harder into her mound. The pain of her grip sends branches of lightning through my body sending a moan of pleasure from my mouth and into her wet slit.
She grins down at the sight of me between her legs, my oversized ashborne eyes even wider than normal as I look back up at her.
I have learned to be a sexual chameleon. I can be master or slave, lover or enemy. Whatever my clients want me to be, that is the role it takes on for them as part of the service they pay for.
Bri doesn’t pay for that right. It is her already. She was my first, and she holds the sole rights to my body. She had been one of Mom’s regulars for years before I was born, but five years ago she decided I would be her new toy.
At first, I was timid. Even having grown up in the brothel and having been around sex all my life, Bri intimidated me in a way that no one else ever has. It wasn’t because I was worried that she would hurt me. It was because I feared I wouldn’t be good enough for her. But Bri was as patient a teacher as she was firm, and I have been a diligent student.
My moans come in waves of pleasure, now as I let myself dissolve into the singular purpose of bringing pleasure to the woman I love. Not the manufactured moans I have been performing all day, Bri would see through those in a heartbeat.
These are pure. The honest release of my body joining hers. This is the only thing she will accept.
My face is soaked now, from Bri’s juices combining with my saliva. I feel drops of it falling from my chin onto my body.
Bri sighs and pulls my face from her. Desperation fills my eyes as the warmth of her center leaves my face.
“Go to the bed, slut.”
Her command is quiet, her voice just above a whisper, but it’s firm, and I respond to it instantly.
I get off my knees and move eagerly to the bed, lying down on my back without having to be told. She climbs up and kneels, her legs straddling my face, as she faces towards the rest of my body. I resist the urge to reach up and grab her ass, pulling her to me.
She looks over my body, her eyes looking over my smooth slit, glistening with my arousal. I bring my knees up, spreading my legs to allow her the full view of me. She smiles in satisfaction and then lowers herself fully onto me.
Only now do I let myself wrap my arms around her, grabbing her ass and kneading her full cheeks and then working a finger gently around the tight bud of her hole.
My tongue resumes its devotion, plugging into her as deep as I can go. Her hips rock as she grinds herself on me, sliding my tongue in and out of her.
When she is ready, she pushes down into me and slides back, bringing her clit back to my mouth. I suck hard, pulling it between my lips and gently grabbing it with my teeth. The first uncontrolled shudder runs through her body as I flick her with my tongue over her, drawing out more shudders from her.
My finger pushes into her back entrance, the tight muscles of her anus slowly giving way to me. I’m lost in my devotion, so when I feel the first gentle slide of her tongue over my pussy, I jolt in pleasure. She grabs my hips, holding me down as she begins her slow, lazy licks around my most sensitive place.
Unlike what she demands of me, Bri doesn’t just dive into me. I don’t know if it’s because she enjoys my build-up or if it’s because I do, but regardless, she reads my body perfectly and gives it exactly what it wants.
Her skills are unmatched. I have had more people between my legs in my twenty-one years than I can count, and none of them have ever come close to Bri. She is a goddess of pleasure.
She runs her tongue up and down my slit, carefully staying to either side of my clit, intentionally denying me the stimulation I want, but giving me the build I need. She lazily drags her tongue around my core, then slowly slides it back up my center, right over my bud.
My hips try to jerk up in response, but she holds me down firmly. She continues her slow tease, while I frantically devour her.
Her first orgasm breaks free, and her body shudders violently as her thighs squeeze around my head. Most women, or even men for that matter, can’t take more stimulation directly after an orgasm. I for fucking sure can’t. Bri is not most women. To be honest, I’m not sure what Bri is, but she demands that I never stop until she tells me to.
Her tongue stops its stroking of me as she buries her face in my cunt and screams her pleasure into me, her arms wrapped around my thighs and squeezing tight. Meanwhile, her own thighs are squeezing my head, trying to crush my skull, but I don’t stop. Her screams vibrate into me. Her release fuels me, building that pressure below my belly.
Finally, she resumes eating me out, but she is no longer teasing me. She knows my need is peaking, and she allows my release. My orgasm crashes into me as waves of pleasure spread through my body. My tongue slows for the first time as I ride out the waves. Bri grabs the skin to either side of my pussy, pinching it closed over my swollen, throbbing clit, then rapidly moves her hand back and forth.
Even through the layers of skin between us, my clit is so sensitive after my orgasm that the stimulation is enough to bring a second orgasm rolling through me right on the heels of the first.
All worries or thoughts of Joni are completely gone from my mind; all that matters in this moment is Bri, our bodies connected and my heart hers.
Time becomes meaningless as we move from position to position, fulfilling our lust with each other’s bodies. Minutes, hours, or days later I lay with my head in her lap, as she sits against the head of my bed, a cigarette lazily held between her lips, and a hand gently stroking my head.
“I will miss you, Xishu.”
The words hit me like a freight liner and felt tears well up in my eyes. I have known Bri all my life. First as a steady, guiding mentor, and then as a lover. She has always been firm, her love tough and hard-earned, but she has always been there for me.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” I whisper, my voice shaky as the tears leak down my cheeks.
Her hand trembles ever so slightly as she runs her fingers through the stands of my hair. My tears flow freely, my heart breaking and reforming endlessly.
“The gods gave you ambition and cunning, but choosing what to do with these is your path. Choosing to do nothing is there for the taking, but you will live out your life in misery.”
I know her words are true, but they can’t stop the cavern forming in my chest and stomach. I blubber like a spoiled child, whose toy has been taken from them. It’s pathetic, and we both know it. But Bri doesn’t scold me or tell me to fucking suck it up. She just continues to stroke my hair.
In a way, it’s almost worse. At least if she yelled at me, I could get mad at her. Anger is always easier to deal with than grief.
I don’t know how long I cry in her lap, but eventually my tears have run out and so has my self-pity. I hurt inside, but I can’t feel sorry for myself anymore.
I push myself up and crawl forward, straddling Bri’s crossed legs with my own and looking down at her from my position. Her eyes peer into me, watching carefully to see my next move. I don’t question myself before I cup her face in both hands and lean down to kiss her. Deeply. Passionately.
This is something I have rarely done, kissing Bri without permission, without her control being firmly in place. Normally I yearn for that control, but now in this moment I just want to feel her body pressed into mine, her soft lips slowly working mine, as our tongues merge and begin a slow carnal dance.
Her hands rest on my sides, before sliding down to firmly grab each one of my ass cheeks. But they don’t pinch or squeeze, sending those delicious jolts of pain through my system. Instead, they gently caress and massage me.
I pull back from our kiss to look into her face, and to my surprise, I don’t find annoyance or disappointment there. Instead, sitting in those deep purple eyes, the violet matching my own, is… pride.
She looks at me the way one looks at someone who has just fought and conquered some opposition. I want to ask, to know what thoughts are being processed in the pretty head, but she leans up, nuzzles the tip of my nose with hers and then kisses me again.
All that I can think about is her, here with me in this moment. I shift my body and then begin a trail of kisses that travel along her jaw, down across her neck, and then down further until I find that hard bud of her nipple and begin sucking it and flicking it with my tongue.
Her hands wrap around the back of my head, pulling me into her. Her need and desire fuel my efforts, and I gently scrape my teeth over the sensitive flesh. Her moans are the most glorious sound I have ever heard, and I can’t imagine anything that could possibly sound better.
She pushes me back, not hard and demanding as usual, but soft yet firm. I adjust until I am lying on my back and she is above me. Then she leans down and takes my nipple between her own lips and provides the same slow, dedicated worship I had just shown her. My hands roam her body mindlessly, taking in the shape and feel of her.
I want to tell her I love her. Tell her how much she means to me, but words seem so brutish in this moment. So instead I pull her lips back to mine and press into her, drinking in her smell, her taste, the heat of our breaths mixing.
She sits up and slides one leg under mine and brings the other one over my waist until our wet sexes are centimeters apart. She looks deep into my eyes, not moving, and for a moment I’m confused why she is just staying there. The realization almost breaks me, but I muster up enough strength to hold myself together before giving her a small nod of approval. My silent permission so rarely asked for.
She shifts her hips forward and the warmth of her center meets mine. Our arousal mixes and she gently picks up my leg before rocking her hips back and forth. She leans forward until our clits make contact, and the motion of her hips combined with the slick wetness between us drives me crazy.
I moan and grab my breasts, pushing and pinching my nipples as she continues her steady pace. Before long her moans joined mine and we melt into each other. The slow but steady rhythm building me right to the peak, and I wonder if I should let go, but before I can even process that question, I’m falling over the edge.
The orgasm is a bliss-filled earthquake that rocks me to my core. Somewhere in my senses I’m aware of Bri falling over her own edge, but I’m too lost in my ecstasy at the moment to be aware of it.
The next thing I know the weight of her body is on top of mine, and she rolls me onto my side, our lips locked and her arms wrapping around me. A few small tears roll down my cheek, and I can’t tell if the moisture I feel on my face is mine alone or not.
I don’t look. I simply drink in the kiss, cuddling into the woman I love one last time and falling asleep in her arms.
Chapter 2 will be ready for consumption soon...