u/Bulky-Document-8381

I struggle with studying or doing my assignments lomg before they are due and I always leave them to the last minute.

But I keep procrastinating or thinking I have enough time, but when it comes to the day, I stress out, overthink and end up procrastinating more and then i dont know anything on test.

Ive had 2 tests so far. Didn't study for them AT ALL, knew NONE of the material and obviously failed because i had nothing to write down.

I have another test literally today. I did not study. I knew I should before, but I was focused on other assignments and obligations etc.

And now im going to fail yet another test because I cant seem to get my ass to study for shit unless my brains convinced were going to die in the next 5 minutes.

I have always struggled with my attendance.

Especially with being behind all the time, an assignment needing to be submit soon I havent touched, havent studied for an upcoming test, I tend to justify not going to class to focus on the immediate things like that i need to get done and promise myself ill attend once im caught up.

But I know itll just become a cycle, I finish one thing, another needs to get done, so i avoid more.

Not only that, since I haven't studied or worked on assignments, if I went to class ill be completely oblivious, so I wouldn't know what was going on and so I convince myself to not go too.

Energy cost is a major thing for me too, when I do attend class, my brain thinks about all the things I need to do, the upcoming test/assignment i could've been doing at home instead here but now im learning something new in class which means its using more of my brain power, then after class I end up exhausted from focusing, masking and trying to understand the new topic, I end up doing nothing when I get home.

So I pretty much weigh all that up: stay home, conserve energy, focus on test/assignment = productive.

Even if i genuienly want to attend class theres just so much to do.

The main problem is when I do try to get ready for class my brain cycles through all these factors and when I convince myself I can stay home and justify it, im staying home.

SO I have come up with a plan with my support advisor that to stop/interrupting that negotiation phase, I have to meet him every morning before every class, so it gives me accountability, and something I have to attend because he will message.

It seems childish at 20 years, but my discipline is absolute dog and this is probably a thing I do need which I hate.

My mom keeps saying that if I want to go to class I do, that she doesnt want to go to work but has to. Which I get but it isnt that simple, I REALLY want to go and actually lock in but I keep self sabotaging myself.

Anyways I really hope this'll help with my attendance.

F20, medicated, 2-year architecture diploma (1st year, 2nd trimester)

I don't think I've ever actually not been behind in my studies. I'm always catching up, asking for extensions, apologizing for poor attendance, needing extra support just to pass assignments.

It's frustrating as hell because I genuinely want to do architecture. My mom keeps saying maybe I should just drop out if I can't make myself go to class, that I don't want to do architecture, but it's not that I don't like what I'm studying. My brain just prioritizes whatever is interesting RIGHT now. That could be gaming, art, crafts, researching random shit, ADHD strategies, literally anything. I'll hyperfocus on that for days/weeks until the interest dies.

Then suddenly it's "oh shit, test tomorrow" and I'm panic studying 4 weeks of content in one night because urgency/shame are basically my only motivators if something isn't immediately interesting.

I got sick for 2 weeks, so this week was meant to be my "back to school" week. Monday I got up, smashed out my chores, breakfast, skincare, makeup, got dressed... then I had too much free time before leaving.

My brain started going:

• Haven't studied in 2 weeks.
• Assignment's due this week.
• Haven't contacted tutors.
• Need to see disability advisor.
• You're behind again.

Then I convinced myself I should stay home, finish the assignment first, then go back to class.

Yet I haven't started on it at all. I'm procrastinating, gaming, researching random stuff while having this constant impending doom in the background.

I've realised my biggest problem isn't understanding the work anymore. It's starting.

If I get started and build momentum, I'm usually fine. Once I'm on campus I'm okay. Once I'm studying, I can get into flow and hyperfocus.

It's the time before I start that kills me. My brain overthinks everything and convinces me not to do it.

I've had an ADHD coach, accommodations, disability support, medication (Ritalin + Clonidine), and I know my patterns. That's almost what makes it worse because I know why I'm avoiding, I know strategies that help, yet I still fall into the same cycle.

I keep feeling guilty because every time I talk to my disability advisor or tutors it's the same conversation. "I'll do better, I'll attend, I've got a new strategy." Then one thing happens (getting sick, missing a class, one overdue assignment), and the whole thing snowballs again.

Just needing some tips or ways to keep myself stimulated during long lectures, currently in one right now, trying to use this post to help keep me not falling asleep.

My eyes are HEAVY as hell even though im not even tired, had great sleep, but long lectures is the bane of all evil for me.

Its really hard to concentrate specially when it feels like im going to go to sleep.

I usually doodle on my sketch or notebooks but I left it at home so im currently trying to just fidget with my ring 🫩

Any help will be appreciated.

So, okay.

Just woke up from it, so I'm trying to remember the details.

In the dream I think I was watching or reading something online or some old message from Michael Jackson, and he said something like: "Hell isn't old" and mentioned about 2017.

Then he mentioned that demons or hell itself was US but "Creatures before us" so like our consciousness/beings were those demons itself or something.

And then he mentioned like "Don't give in to the temptation"

Meanwhile while like...reading this IN the dream, I had like whispering and murmuring in my ear, feelings of people grabbing me, PULLING me into something until I....Chose not to give into evil? Which stopped the whispering/grabbing but holy sh!t that scared the Hell outta me.

Anyways, luckily its not 2-3AM, it's 5 So I'm finna stay up now :')

F20, ADHD-INATTENTIVE, MEDICATED, (getting diagnosed for autism soon..), studying and have weekend work.

Anyways it's my study break next week and I have two overdue assignments I've been putting off. Not necessarily because I don't know what to do or that I don't want to do them, it's just my current interest/hype fixation is digital art.

I've always been drawing since I was a kid, all that, but more of a traditional sketching rather than digital. So i've been trying to learn semi-realism art style, which obviously with my set of skills that only do messy sketches with no coloring, I never learned coloring, values, rendering allat.

So, for the past 2 weeks my brain has been hooked onto trying to learn and do digital art. (currently fumin because my art ain't turning out how I want it to be lmao)

It's gotten to the point that sometimes I've been missing days on cleaning my space, house, and even myself, I keep forgetting to eat, drink, take care of myself when I'm in those hyper fixations. It's a running cycle, since it happens with ANYTHING in my life, when something is hooked that becomes my whole entire life until either I lose interest or burn out.

Back to the digital thing, I know I can always go back to it and focus on my assignments but I just get that nagging need to get that feeling of accomplishment or 'completeness' until my brain finally lets it go? And since currently I'm struggling on how to do it, it's stuck there UNTIL it's decent enough.

This and also I'm scared i'll end up losing interest in it.

But yeah, this is practically everything in my life, nothing is ever balanced, it's either I do something amazing or do something really shitty, or not do it at all.

Which is probably why I'm so bad at consistency.

Any tips?

I'm not AUDHD, only Inattentive ADHD, medicated, will be getting a autism diagnosis soon.

Anyways, I'm a college student, live with my parents, 20F, classes are 4 days a week, I work on the weekends. So I reckon I have it pretty damn good, I get 300 weekly from my student allowance, plus the extra money from work, which I use to easily do 12HR 2X a week, but now I struggle to do two 8HR back to back.

Before learning more about autism/ADHD recovery, burn out, accommodations all that, I would 'easily' work those 20HRS per week. BUT then I realized, I need 2 days to recover afterward and 1-2 days to mentally 'prepare' myself for going to work.

After work i'd need 2 days to just do absolutely nothing, bedrot, unable to clean the house, take care of myself until I gradually day by day get back into the swing of things. but it's just the cycle pretty much.

But nowadays, I can barely acccept doing one 12HR shift. I would decline to stay back for the night shift.

I feel...lazy and weird I guess? But energy levels and like...how I feel is a lot better, since I'm not stressing myself out on working as hard.

I also have the realization on how much I need so much support. Genuinely I don't know how if I could do the regular 40HR weekly with paying bills, food, utilities, work everyday life. Hell if I struggle with the set up I got now, imagine how useless I'd be if I can't do the most expected normal life.

I remember when I was on school break I had a full month free, I did 40HR+ weekly, and my job is more physical, I work at a hospital kitchen, delivering food, catering, orders for departments, bustling, and I do enjoy it. It's stimulating, but I did those 40HRs and I burnt out to where I had to do nothing for an entire week just to slowly recover. I felt so drained, even if I had a full night sleep I was still exhausted to where the last day at work I felt like I was going to pass out.

Which comes to another thing: Lack of breaks + momentum. At work and pretty much my daily, I thrive on task chaining/momentum. At work I finish one task, do the next, do the next, even if I don't have to and keep working during breaks because I can't lose that momentum. Which is probably another big reason why I get burnt out real quick..

Also, weekend is coming up, I was called asked if I want to work a 8HR shift tomorrow, and a full 12HR shift on Sunday. Normally I would say yes 100%, but I'm fighting with that transition on that impending doom of going to work the next day, but I also have assignments due on Sunday, Mon, Tues and Wednesday. So thats a big reason why I don't want to work so I can focus on that...

But yeah, just wondering if anyone else feels like this, and maybe some insight? Thanks

F20, medicated, doing a 2 year diploma. My classes are only 4 days a week from 10am–1/2pm and campus is only 15 mins away, so logically it should be easy to attend. But it’s SO hard for me.

Lectures drain me insanely fast. I listen, take notes, do normal lecture stuff, but after a couple hours my eyes feel heavy/strained and I end up exhausted for the rest of the day even though I barely “did” anything. I have mild astigmatism and prescription glasses which help, but not enough for the full 3–4 hours.

The biggest issue is my brain constantly thinking:
“Why go to class, get exhausted, and get less work done, when I can stay home, keep my energy up, and do way more work?”

I know attendance matters and I have support through a disability advisor + ADHD coach, but I keep fighting with myself over whether going in is even worth the energy cost.

I end up just full on ghosting my tutors, feeling so bad because I have to message my advisor I didn't come in when i promised I will.

I'm trying to find ways to motivate me to attend class, I don't have any friends- since of my low attendance I still don't know anyone's names even though were in week 12 now. All the slides are online, so I do hand in my assignments in time.

Advice would be greatly appreciated :')