i hate this so much
first time venting on here but it’s 1am and i’m tired and i just want to put my thoughts into words somehow. i’m 16 and was diagnosed almost 2 years ago, I was put on birth control a year and a half ago and have gained over 15lbs since. It’s even worse because i kid you not EVERYONE i know has miraculously lost so much weight recently meanwhile i feel like a literal pig. i always tell myself “tomorrow is the day i start doing things differently” but then the sun rises and i don’t have the energy to get out of bed so i just lay there for hours, eat the same crap i eat everyday because it’s what my brain begs and begs me to eat, meanwhile my mom keeps saying i “desperately” need to lose weight, my clothes that i used to fit into no problem not even 3 months ago don’t fit anymore and im just so done with all this. I want to be like everyone else i see and wear cute clothes without thinking of ny stomach and my arms and my stupid puffy face. oh how i hate that i don’t even feel comfortable in photos where im literally completely covered because my face so big and it’s even worse because i used to be so skinny when i was younger but the pandemic happened and it messed me up in every aspect and idk man. i just don’t know what to do anymore. i literally get tired after doing the most minimal task. I just want to feel good about myself and not put myself down after every single meal and i just don’t want to cry over this anymore.
if anyone read this, sorry for the great wall of text and for probably sounding like a dumb teen lol. at least i had a good cry.