u/BurrnerAccountt

I honestly have mixed feelings about religion as it makes sense but also doesn't therefore I dont worship any god. I have searched and learned about countless religions but frankly none make sense to me, its like it was written for a fairy tale. I have learned a lot about Christianity and Islam but neither make sense to me. While doing so I keep thinking that IF I were to have beliefs and worship a god, from. which religion would it be. I honestly have really loved Greek mythology though that too hasn't made much sense to me, I really don't like the fact that the religion has been reduced to a "myth" unlike other religions. Mainly in religions god Is a male, or at least assumed to be. And it waters down women given women can't show skin but men can etc. The universe is a big place with countless possibilities and your just supposed to forget about it and spent your life worshipping a nonexistent being? Honestly that's how I see religion. It oppresses most societies and developments. I'm going on the wrong path but with this in mind it's hard to look at a religion that seems plausible at least.

So Ive been having nightmares for some days and I feel restless all the time. Particularly this morning I woke up and couldn't fall asleep. It was like 5 or 4am given the blue light coming into my room from the window. After some time I did manage to sleep but then I had night mares. 3 and they were so bad one to be specific where I woke up and was genuinely so terrified I didn't move from my bed cause I was scared smth was gonna happen. After some time I fell asleep but this whole day I've been restless and hearing this. The nightmare that woke me up today was about me and my older sister and younger brother doing something in my room. And my mother and fathers room is across from mine. And as me and my siblings were talking I was standing at the foot of my bed until I saw smth in the corner of my eye like something dashing to hide behind the door in my parents room and I noticed and tried to shrug it off but then it stood and I was paralyzed. And my sister asked what's wrong but all I could do was spit nothing. As the figure stood up it had a red shirt which reminded me of one I wore a few days ago. The person looked to be a woman? Idk. She had short black hair. And this crazy expression is all I can remember and she came in my room and my sister screamed and all and she came to me and she had an axe something like some Mickey mouse on her I can't remember where. But she was smiling as she cut my throat and I woke up. After I fell asleep like I have said before but all day I've been hearing Thuds and knocks from the room upstairs which is vacant and also from my parents room. And a lot of kids are screaming I mean there probably playing but the screaming is loud and a lot and it doesnt seem like anyone in my house is minding those screams like they aren't even listening to it and just it's really weird

Honestly it's doesn't sound that bad but it was just.idk. It started with me talking with my sister in the drawing room and my father going up stairs from the living room or after coming from outside after telling us something I think. I think we were talking to my father too? Then there was like a ring at my door and my grandmother came and said who so it and all and opened the door. It was a man. Kinda looked like my youngest uncle and had a yellow hoodie on. He told my grandmother he needs a place to stay cause he thinks it's gonna rain and he can't go home or something like that. I wasn't listening. I was already going upstairs cause I thought smth was wrong. As I got to my room. I didn't enter. I went to the stairs to see whats happening and I heard the guy say something like "it's ok I dont need it, I'm here for you after all" then there were screams. So after hearing that I went to my room. Locked it. Opened the back balcony door of my room. Entered the balcony and locked the door behind me then I in straight to the house next to mine and tried to look got places to go. It was kinda weird. But I was going from houses to houses jumping on them and all until my sister who was with supposedly behind me told me to go to my sisters friends house which was very near. So O stayed at her friends house. Only on the roof. With her friend as my sister then left saying she will go with my mother and we will meet later. Then after some time I realized the friends house has a ladder to go down. And I used it to go down and found MY freinds house who like also took me to her roof and were like gonna talk and I was gonna tell her what happened but her maid came in and he asked if everything is ok and all and she said that I came over and that blah blah blah. Then we went inside and I told her mother every thing and she started looking out the windows and alll and to see smth then I was about to use to her lift with her to go to the roof again and my mother and sister came. She told me to come with them and so I did. And then. Idk. It's a blurr

I love gyutaro. Though he is a fictional character. I love him. For some reason it started from when my parents used to yell at me and then I thought of it. It was not hug but I need coincidence but now. When ever my parents yell or hit me I start dreaming abt him.