Dependence
Hi everyone,
Longtime lurker here..
So I’ve been on low dose somewhat daily therapy for the last couple of years. About 125 mg a day average. Ketamine has helped my depression, OCD, and anxiety a lot. I’m very grateful for it. At the same time, I feel like it’s getting into addiction territory for me. It’s hard to express but it feels like I think about it a lot and it’s hard for me to miss a day. I’ve gone up to two weeks without it but I guess I feel like it dogs my thoughts so much that I’m getting weary of it. I bought a lockbox but that didn’t fix it either. I’m a person of faith and don’t think it’s good to be addicted/dependent on substances but I know the dependence vs addiction argument has a fine line.
Due to chronic health issues I don’t feel like I can go without it indefinitely. Kinda like golden handcuffs, I guess. My life is pretty good as far as circumstances go. Some stress, raising kids, business, etc.. but still very blessed.
Also, I have been on fluoxetine and bupropion since a couple years before ketamine.
Any input is appreciated.. 🙏
TLDR: I feel like I need ketamine to thrive but it’s starting to take an outsized role in my thoughts and habits and I want it to be a tool, not a master.