Think I'm turning into an avoidant and i want to fix it for my gf?
Hi! A little context here I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 months now and I've noticed a pattern...i keep hurting her unintentionally..or idk if I am in so confused so here's one scenario
(This happened today and it was in the evening i texted a friend that has been ignoring and avoiding me and excluding me, I wanted closure from this friend wanting to know why they're doing this, and my girlfriend had already told me to move on, which I tried I really did but that friend was dear to me...so my girlfriend is very upset that I texted this person and I tried explaining that i wanted closure but she went on saying that um pathetic for asking closure even after she helped me to move on which I feel bad about and i hate that I keep hurting her in this way)
Now...the reason why I feel like I'm being an avoidant is bcs my mind is like idc attitude tho my heart is hurting, im so confused about what's going on emotionally with me I hate that I make my gf cry i want to improve but don't know how or where...and even when she cries I become so calm...not crying with her not empathetic but jus calm i can't think of anything..etc and I've been feeling very distorted emotions flipping every hour...eating or not eating at allll..I hate how im feeling and hate how im making my girlfriend feel...
I really want to seek help and I even have family problems where she's very supportive and caring and helps me realise that my parents arent really...well good
Please help me sort this out I want to be better for my girlfriend and for myself