Frustrated by food, blood sugar, mental health, and everything between
Hello. I have had T2 diabetes for a while now and have been working on things like eating better and moving more. I don't prick my fingers because it triggers the temptation to self-harm. My doctor knows this and has been fine with this. My doctor recently introduced me to the Freestyle Libre program where I can get 2 sensors a month for $75 since my insurance won't cover them unless I'm on insulin. Now I'm able to see better what foods really skyrocket my blood sugar and that sort of thing.
On top of T2 diabetes, I have several mental illnesses, including Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly multiple personalities). Having DID means that I have parts who can simply take control of the body and eat what they want. It also means that I have parts that are under the age of 10 - several of them are 4 and under. This plays havoc with the average age of my palate and what we like to eat. I'm also neurodivergent and have problems with textures. On top of it all, I have chronic fatigue which puts a limit on how much exercise I can do without putting myself in bed for 3 days. I currently do some walking, but I can't do too much or then I can't get outta bed. It's frustrating. Someone said walking 10K a day helps them keep their sugar in line. I'm happy if I consistently get 1200 steps in a day thanks to chronic fatigue.
My A1c went up a little in February from 7.5 to 8.4. I knew it was going to go up based on some family health issues & me being overwhelmed from caregiving that occurred toward the end of 2025. I actually thought I got off easy. I expected it to possibly even hit 9 as for about 5-6 weeks I was living on sugar and caffeine. It was the only way to do everything I had to do at home and still stay awake at work. Since February, we have been really working on eating better. Most of our DID parts have been working together to do this. However, we're having trouble with which things make our blood sugar go up or down. It seems like the only time our sugar is "in range" (70-180) is first thing in the morning and if we haven't eaten anything in more than 4 hours.
I have always been a huge fruit person. Apples, canteloupe, grapes, berries, cherries, bananas and more. In the summer I practically live on fruit. And now we're realizing that we can't eat as much fruit because it skyrockets the sugar. It's been really hard on us. We use the terms "growing foods" and "just because foods" so there is no morality to food. Being that fruit is a "growing" food, my little ones don't understand why they can't eat it more. They really like grapes and apples and canteloupe. Many of them are very little - 4 and under. They just don't understand.
My doctor says "You can eat all the vegetables you want". With 9 DID parts under the age of 10, plus serious aversions to textures, that sentence holds no joy for us. We're trying. There are a few veggies we like, but even those aren't easy to eat a lot. Carrots cut into matchsticks or chips are okay, but baby carrots and regular carrot sticks are "too crunchy". Red bell peppers are okay - but not the other colors. Cucumbers are hit or miss. Mushrooms are hit or miss. Sugar snap peas raw are okay in small numbers, but not a favorite. Tomatoes I'm super picky on type and juice ratio. I've tried bribing the little ones to eat the veggies with M&Ms (i.e. eat 7 peapods and get 5 M&Ms type thing). It doesn't work. I've tried several different types of treats and none of them entices the kiddos to eat the veggies. So, I eat the veggies, but they aren't my favorite either so I have to force myself to choose veggies.
Having the CGM and knowing my sugar levels better now and being able to see what makes it go higher/lower was supposed to make choosing foods to eat easier. So far all it's done is taken all the joy out of eating. It's just a chore now. I feel like I must stuff something in so the body has fuel - yippie. More times than not, we just end up not eating much. I know that's not a great solution, but we feel pretty hopeless about it all at this point.
I'm hoping maybe some of you have helpful, gentle advice you can give.