Venting..Struggling in Clinical Year
Currently in my clinical year of PA school only 3-months away from graduation. Just finished my 6th rotation in Peds. I scored 11 pts below the 1.5 standards deviation and have to retake my Peds EOR in a couple of days. This will be my 4th EOR retake in total and can only have 5 EOR retakes to pass PA school. Still struggling to find the best study method. I go back and forth with Blueprint, YouTube videos, creating my charts, and writing notes. Mental health is diminishing and the self doubt and imposter syndrome is getting to me. My gf and her family have sacrificed their life or placed their life on hold in order for me to pursue my dreams to become a PA. Feel like a failure and a disappointment. After my meeting with my advisor and the whole staff, I had a mental breakdown afterwards. Felt like my worse fears are coming true. That “I’ll never amount to anything in life” from my father growing up. Not really sure what I’ll get out of this post. Just feel like I can’t talk to anyone. The pressure of passing is getting to me. The amount of money I owe is overwhelming.
Previous History: not the smartest in the class and not the best test taker but I am willing to work hard to move forward. I had to repeat my Didactic year over due to having to many credits of C’s the first time and mental health issues. Was diagnosed with ADHD, GAD, PPD, and PTSD. This time made it through clinical year up until now.