Confused in life and honestly scared about my future
Hey everyone,
I don’t usually post things like this, but lately my mind has been a complete mess and I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m currently in my final year of BCA, and by this time next year I’ll probably graduate from college. The problem is I can’t decide what direction I want my life to go in. As Some days I think about doing MCA because it feels like the safe option. Sometimes I think about MBA because people around me keep suggesting it. But deep inside, the thing that truly pulls me is film school and creative work.
And I know that probably sounds weird.
Ever since I was a kid I’ve been obsessed with cinema. Movies were never just video playing on TV for me. I used to notice camera angles, emotions, lighting, background music, random little moments I don’t know why, but visuals always made me feel something deeply. Back in 2024, I bought my first decent phone and started filming literally anything I found beautiful roads, sunsets, people, random life moments and Last year I somehow managed to buy my first camera, and honestly it became one of the happiest moments of my life.
I started making videos, filming for some clients for free, experimenting with edits, colors, transitions and for the first time in a long time, I actually felt alive doing something. But then there’s the other side of life. Right now I’m doing an internship to experience the corporate world, and I don’t know I just feel so disconnected from it. Sitting all day in front of code makes me feel empty sometimes. Everyone around me seems so good at coding while I constantly feel like I’m forcing myself to fit into something that maybe I’m not made for.
And every single time I watch a movie, vlog, podcast, or cinematic video, I get this painful feeling in my chest like:
“Man this is what I actually want to do.”
I keep imagining a life where I wake up excited to create things. Shooting stories, editing videos late at night, building visuals that make people feel something. Maybe even owning a small studio someday.
But at the same time, reality scares me.
I’m scared of disappointing my parents.
I’m scared that maybe passion alone isn’t enough.
And honestly, I feel stuck between choosing a stable life and choosing a life that actually feels like me.
If anyone has been through something similar or has any genuine advice, I’d really appreciate hearing it.
Hope you all have a good day :)