Staying on the east side and new to LA. Where are we doing park laps? I’m ultra comfy cycling in urban areas (started riding fixed bcuz of macaframa when I was 15 and have rarely owned a car) but just statistically I want to minimize my time on the busy surface roads and intersections to actually getting places instead of just stacking mileage.
I quit like three weeks ago. I did a lot of gabs for like two ish years, maybe two and a half. My usage probably peaked around 4k mg a day. I’m coming off a weird cocktail of substances also. 2 weeks off all drugs (had a day long coke alcohol and Xanax relapse 1 week off gabs). As much as other drugs could complicate my withdrawal the only thing I was to besides stimulants was kratom, so gabs is like majority responsible for my withdrawal. Also I’ve been tapering for like six months prior to jumping.
I feel like someone gave me a lobotomy and autism and then made me take ten clonidine pills and run thru the desert with a parka on. I’m drinking so many energy drinks and I can’t stay awake. I know things are getting better but mentally everything is so cloudy it all feels like a total fever dream. The anhedonia is killer and the anxiety hurts. I’ve been exercising and writing music and working on stuff which has been good. I held my own at a work thing and did a pretty good job. I still feel so shaky. Don’t even get me started on how gnarly doing stuff outside is. The good thing is that I am doing things outside, but the intrusive thoughts and the social anxiety are eating me alive. I feel like my skin is too tight and I have no clothes to wear. I’ve also been binge eating like CRAZY. Like scary. Entire pints of ice cream and donuts. I was severely underweight before this so it’s fine-ish for right now but I can only imagine it’s my nerves turning back on. Like depression so bad I can’t move followed by two days of a kind of loopy cloudy normal and then a week of messed up sleep and depression. So fucking weird.
I got off because of how severe it made my depression and anxiety and things genuinely have improved compared to what I used to be like but it’s still really really bad right now. It’s coming in strong fucking waves.
Just ordered some NAC so I hope that can help me. I’ve been taking magnesium and zinc also.