Coach shouting at me after I said my gf isn't doing BJJ
Hi all,
This is a throwaway account as I dont want this tied to my main account.
This being the BJJ subreddit, I wanted to ask if I’m genuinely out of line here or if people just instantly jump to calling dudes insecure now.
I went to my first BJJ session recently and my girl came with me just to watch. The coaches and some people there started encouraging her to join too, and I basically said “nah she’s not joining.”
Then one of the coaches starts pushing back on me about it, saying stuff like “why not?” and “she should train too.”
And honestly? I just said I’m not comfortable with my girl rolling around with other dudes.
Apparently that instantly makes me controlling according to some people. But I don’t really get why men aren’t allowed to have boundaries anymore without getting psychoanalyzed.
People act like because it’s “just training” you’re supposed to completely switch off normal relationship instincts. But BJJ is still an insanely physical sport. You’re literally tangled up with people between your legs, chest to chest, sweaty, grabbing each other for rounds at a time. I can acknowledge it’s martial arts while ALSO saying I personally don’t feel comfortable with my girl doing that with other men.
The weirdest part was how quickly other people felt entitled to challenge my boundary instead of just respecting it.
I'm not saying she's my property or whatever, but since my gf left the decision up to me, I've decided against it, so what's the big deal? You can't expect every couple to be ok with that surely? I'm not sure how much of an echo chamber this subreddit is but I'd like some viewpoints from people who have gone through similar things.