Help me out guys.
I (17 M) am an incredibly socially inept person. I have always been this way and I struggle even more to express my feelings and thoughts especially in tamil. Unfortunately, i don't have a friend circle and am a typical awkward weirdo irl but I do surprisingly well at maintaining good convos through text so I can be a bit deceiving giving an impression of myself. funnily enough, the people that do know me generally leave me alone as I have nothing to contribute to the conversation and I always tend to end up making friends with the kid in the corner where he too is socially inept who says very few words as possible. I do acknowledge sometimes about my social skills and my demeanor towards other people which usually ends up being awkward or uncomfortable. I'm pretty new in the tamil culture of things as I came here just a few years ago and that already took a toll on my developmental stage and I ended up well... being like this. Anyways, I was at home and decided to go on a long ride on a bus thinking it would be all therapeutic and nice to gather my thoughts and also hoping nobody would start small talk with me. But umm.. obviously the exact opposite of what i wanted had to happen to me smh. An old lady sat next to me and mind you, I had no clear goal of arriving at a particular destination. I just decided to sit through the entire bus ride and come around in a loop and eughh... obviously my mother had to come with me cuz of my social skills with people she knew I'd very well be mugged if left alone. So... I didn't even know where we were going I never asked her, she was in the front and I was at the very back of the bus thinking that she's got the tickets and all's going well and good UNTIL.... an old lady had to sit beside me... "damn it" I thought to myself, infront of me was her daughter (mom) and her son and they chit chatted a bit before the old lady suddenly asked me a simple yet frightening question... "Enga pora pa?" .... ;-; "uhhh" and I blinked for 2 seconds before saying "theriyala".... she was like "enna?? puriyala da" and I was like *fuck fuck fuck.... FUCKKK* and i said, "illa summa tha... vanthe..."
lady: "ehh??"
Me: "mmmmmm ama."
lady: "EHHH??"
Me: 😐...
and then I straight up have my nervous little laugh trying to come up with an answer to pacify this dumb bitch
Me: "Ehh- umm Summa tha 😅"
lady: *then she starts to noticeably get weirded out by me and as if that wasn't weird enough the mom literally had to turn her head around and give me that disgusting cringeful side eye with her son also turning his head around 360 both cringing out*
Poor me... I continue my nervous laughter before looking away to reflect upon the pitiful self that I am. Yeahh... and then the rest of the ride was awful and me ruminating on it. I wasn't able to enjoy so much and then there were some fights between women here and there in the bus... so a bad one for me. Just please guys cheer me up a bit by sharing your awkward moments like this and how you guys fixed the issue. Cuz damn man... I just wish i could go up to a baddie with respect and confidence without seeming like a person with no game and skill.
I'm genuinely a nice and interesting person to be around with but y'know bad first impressions matter too much.
So anyways ya'll, thank you for listening <3