Anyone else experience forced participation and ignored boundaries?
Hey everyone, just need to vent and ask for advice. I love capoeira, but I am so exhausted by the constant pressure to perform when I explicitly say "no" or give facial cues that I don't want to do something.
I recently switched groups. Physically, I'm intermediate (about 4th cord, I've been in capoeira for about 5.5/6 years), but since I'm wearing a white cord right now in my new lineage, outside higher cords constantly try to "encourage" me and try to assume authority.
But what really burns me out is how people completely ignore basic verbal boundaries. Recently, a visiting Mestre forced me to test on the berimbau in front of an advanced class (learning iuna, I'm pretty early on in music now, late bloomer) after I repeatedly said "no, I can't do it," leaving me completely embarrassed, red in the face. At another event, a peer physically pushed me back toward the roda after I explicitly said I was frustrated because I kept looking at the bateria wanting to play, but they didn't acknowledge me, and just wanted to sit out. Looking back, even when I first started, a CM dragged me in to play with a kid before I was ready. Also, when I joined my current group, there was somebody who kept pushing me to change groups.
It feels like this culture constantly mistakes personal boundaries for "fear" and overrides consent under the guise of "encouragement."
Have you guys dealt with this? Is this a common thing in capoeira? How do you hold your ground against higher-ups who refuse to take "no" for an answer? Why does this happen? I hate it. For me, it doesn't help at all; it doesn't motivate me at all to continue playing.