u/Chemical-Life3261

I am getting back into the swing of driving after going many years not doing it very much, due to moving, health reasons, and generally losing confidence. I took a refresher course and the instructor said I drove well, I just need to practice to regain my confidence. The thing is, everybody here is so angry all the time. Every single time I get in the car someone is being dumb or just overly aggressive or impatient. I follow the rules of the road, I am a cautious driver. I try to keep to the speed of the flow of traffic.
But following the rules of the road seems to piss a lot of people off.
Just today I stopped at a stop sign and someone who had the right of way stopped for me (something he did not have to do, this threw me off for half a second) and then he raises his hand at me and I see him mouthing “well fking go already” like buddy you didnt have to stop in the first place, dont yell at me. Just things like that repeatedly, constantly, and I know theyre small and its just dumb strangers but it gets to me a lot. I wish it didn’t. It’s nj, I did not learn to drive in nj. This is an extremely crowded state, the roads are always so busy. There are a lot of weird roads here that are not intuitive, sometimes I take a second too long to figure it out the first time I see it. People hate this. They get so mad. It makes me so stressed out and I hate getting worked up behind the wheel because that is when I know i will make mistakes. Nj is a whole other level of insane and impatient driving.

Part of it is knowing there are people out there who will try and use the vehicle they are driving as a weapon, this has happened to be when I was 20 and a pedestrian in a parking lot, a man followed me around screaming expletives at me through his passenger window and threatening me because I apparently walked too slowly in front of his car. This wasn’t anywhere near nj even. Knowing people like that exist and it isnt even that uncommon is scary to me and I don’t know how to get over this. Obviously I need to, because public transit basically does not exist here.
I absolutely dread driving. I don’t want to dread it, but right now I do.
Actually helpful answers only please if you are here to bring your own road rage and make assumptions about my driving I am just blocking you because it isnt helpful.

Ever since my daughter was born it seems like every social circle I was in has found a reason to just push me out. All the hobbies I used to do became unenjoyable or unjustifiable.

Some of them I have forced myself to participate in again, but nothing is the same. I used to play video games with my friends, but now they don’t invite me or are playing at hours I can’t be online. I used to do different kinds of art like painting/drawing, sewing, embroidery, lots of other things too. But most things require money or the ability to dedicate a lot of time and space and I cannot justify it anymore.
Hanging out with friends doesnt happen anymore. I only have one other friend with kids and outside of going to hockey games, we dont see each other.
Any friends I do have are too busy, dont reply to invites etc, I just gave up. I tried to make mom friends when my daughter was about 0-2 and I honestly will never try that again, I am sure there are good groups out there but I cannot risk getting burnt like that again. Horrible idea and I regret even trying, it made my postpartum mental illness so much worse being surrounded by people so in the thick of mothering and literally nothing else.

My husband was able to return to his life pretty easily, he plays a lot of cardgames (mostly riftbound) which… I like riftbound, and the stores he plays at are friendly and I know the owners, but I am not a competitive person. I would play one game and be bored of it. I don’t like playing dnd with strangers, husband plays warhammer which I have zero interest in…
I like reading, but that’s really all I do without questioning the point of it. I cant really go out by myself anywhere at night either unless its very close by and I’m very familiar with the area because I am not comfortable driving in the dark (my eyes are so sensitive to light, I refuse to do it unless I don’t have to think about the directions nearly as much). So a lot of things are off the table there.
Daughter is starting preschool this year but I don’t think anything will change. The only aspiration I have is get a job so we can pay off the mortgage faster. It feels like until then any out of the house things are just off the table. I am so stuck asking myself what the point of it is.

So other than reading, what are inexpensive things that dont take up space, are cheap or free, can be done entirely on my own, at home? I know exercise is up there but its unfortunately an endometriosis trigger so I cant consistently do that, either.