u/Chemical-Love8817

I ended treatment after 10 years. I became in love with my patient after they started experiencing erotic transference to me. I told them all along I needed to keep up a neutral mentality.

After a year of intense work, I felt like I couldn’t be neutral anymore - I was simultaneously in love with my patient and wanted to have sex with them.

I referred them to be seen by someone else. I know this was the right choice. However, now I’m sad and keep re-reading their texts/letters and missing them so much. I’m in my own treatment - and talking about this.

I used to think only predators had sex with patients. I had not realized how close I could get with someone.

I worked with a patient for 8 years. I had to refer them. Today was our last session. I’m beyond sad. Ii cried in the session. I no longer was the therapist suited for them. But I was available.

They wrote me a letter. I am having a terrible time terminating services. I feel awful.

I’m a good therapist. I’ve had lots of training post-grad. Other therapists refer patients they struggle to help. I’m great at what I do.

However, having a caseload who has primarily experienced chronic trauma is a problem for me. I can work well with folks who have been disappointed by previous experiences in psychotherapy. I would prefer a more balanced caseload though. Send me the worried well. Not sure how to address this with work. Just because I’m skilled, I wind up with the patients with the most difficult, complicated histories.