Please help, i'm devastated
Hello, 14F here. Today, i checked my school's ranking of the best students in my grade. I unfortunately ranked 11th out of approximatively 250 students, with a grade of 17.70 out of 20. I don't really like living in Morocco,I love my country but my mom's not very rich, and my grades are my only way out. My dream's to study in the US, and i'm going into high school next year(we only have 3 years of high school, pretty much like the french school system), yet with no decent extracuricculars, given i'm from a low income household or grades that meet my expectations. The grading system here is so strict, and yet i do my best but i can only get 17s, 18s, 19s and rarely 20s on my tests, Exepted for history geography, my weakest subject, where my grades range between a whooping 12.5 and 16/20. At least i'm fluent in english and I have some experience in fields like engineering and computer science, because my "very good grades" are far from enough. Ranking 11th in your average middle school, in your average city in Morocco. Deep inside, i know that it's all my fault because i didn't study enough. My grades kept dropping, from 18.76 last year to now 17.70. I don't want to stay here, under my family's watchful eyes, working at an office job while my parents tell me that i should get married, have kids and get them money at the same time. I want a real, fulfilling, and successful career. But I lost my hope, and I probably won't get myself to study well next year.I'm sorry if i sound dramatic, yes it really is that bad, and i want to leave as soon as possible. Also, sorry if my grammar's badly, english is my third language, and i'm exhausted. I would love to get some advice about how to improve my grades and likeliness into getting into college in the US, thanks a lot