u/Chico_Escuela

I posted last week about recently watching the “Mommy Wore Stripes” episode and how terrible of a mother that Joe and Brian’s mother was. Well, I was kind of gobsmacked when in the very next season, we are introduced to Roy’s non-dead ex-wife, Sylvia. Her story is at its core, the same as Joe and Brian’s mother. She didn’t like her life with Roy and left him behind and didn’t have contact with Roy for 16 years. She presumably also failed to have any contact with her son, RJ, as well!

Now, I don’t recall if it is ever explicitly said the Sylvia is RJ’s mom, but I think it is safe to infer she is. And don’t get me wrong, it’s also safe to presume that RJ thought his mother was dead because that is what Roy had told everybody.

Given all this perspective, including knowing how Roy never fully accepted RJ being gay, Roy and Sylvia were some absolutely atrocious parents (again, along with Joe and Brian’s mother).

“I thought that you left because I broke your pitcher.”

I’ve re-watched the series numerous times over the years either by reruns or the DVD set but this is one episode that I would usually skip. I never liked how terrible of a person Joe and Brian’s mother is - a sentiment that only deepened when I become a father. I know she admits to being a terrible mother but it doesn’t make her actions any more excusable. I always hated that Joe forgave her at the end.

Having said all that, I did watch this episode recently and perhaps being older (and understanding my own complicated family dynamics) has helped me realize that Joe forgiving his mother was more for Joe than anyone else. It was a healthy step toward closure of a burden he carried for 20 years. Joe’s mother absolutely did not deserve to be forgiven but for the sake of Joe’s own health and growth, he had to do it.

I’ll also add that Tim Daley’s acting in this scene is incredible. I could also sense the tension the audience was feeling by this performance.