I always thought Physical Ab*se was normal
So i come from a very conservative family from haryana. I was born in 2009 in a tier 2 city. My Father always wanted a boy and when I was born my mother 's in laws and my father taunted my mom " Naa naukari upar se jaam di chokri" My mom told me how I was 6-7 months and my father locked me in a room because I was crying continuously. There is an incident when I was in 5th standard, My father once checked my School bag and he found out a boy notebook. I tried to explain him that I borrowed this notebook to complete my work. He be*ted me with punches and all. And Once I tried to wear a turban using my mom scarf to look like a boy , he said that today i don't even want to raise hand on you, i felt this as a compliment. When I was in 7th standard i used to comment on some youtube videos and my Father always used to check my phone, once he got to know about the comment thing , he be*ted once again with slippers and punches and my mouth started to bleed and he didn't cared . My mouth become swelled and on that day my school told me to bring some passport size photo so i went to click photos with swollen face.
Even when I was in 9th standard, my father was putting photo frames on wall , I said that don't put here. He got angry and through the wooden frame at me. He took the wiper and started be*ting me saying "baap ke aage zabaan ladaayegi? I couldn't walk due to all bruises on my legs, i had to take pain killer injection and this condition made me to cancel my practicals exam. BUT after some few days he said me sorry Like whenever he b*ats me he always say sorry afterwards. Do he really love me??
I was always compared to my neighbour kids how they got 98% and i was stuck on 93-94
I tried hard in 10th and got 98% by only sleeping 3-4 hours in last 2-3 months
My brother on the other hand have girls number , they don't say him anything. He got 88% and my father says that " Ladke ko pressure mein maarna thodi hai"
Now I got into hostel because of my Mama and mami,they forced my father to send me to hostel so that I can gain some confidence and get some job. And here when I see other children parents how they support their kids I feel so sad. Once I used to think that this abuse is parenting but i was wrong. Now he calls me sometimes and ask if I am okay? And do I need some money? And he cried when I left home... I don't know whether I am wrong or is he? I can't understand his mind
Now I am trying to heal myself and hope i would get selection in neet 2027.