u/CoachLewisTKA

This is about a game I was the center for last spring. U16G, pretty solid game. This is the only game I’ve ever shown a red for.

Two girls had been getting into it most of the game. Early in the second half, one player fouls the other pretty hard and it’s been pretty back and forth between them all game, I show her a yellow. The other girl gives her a slight push after the kick, which was behind my back. AR flags it and tells me what he saw, so I gave the girl a yellow.

Not too long after, I’m following play in the middle of the field, when my AR flags and calls me by name. The girl who got the first yellow pulled the other girl down by her hair behind me. Although I didn’t see it, from my AR clued me in, and automatic red.

While the other girl is still down, I hear from the sidelines, one of the parents screaming “But you gave her a red?”

I have no question about the call or the card, but should I have talked to the coach about removing the parent as well?

I assume the parent was her mom, but I just don’t see how you can react that way after seeing your player commit a violent act ?

I have been involved in soccer since I was 4. My first 1.5 years (Fall/Spring/Fall) as a rec coach, I was coed. First two seasons, amazing. After the 3rd season, which wasn’t amazing, I take a break during the spring. Next spring, I join a U12G travel team as an assistant because my GF’s sister was on the team and I was looking to start coaching again anyways.

From that spring (2024), until this season, I have coached girls soccer, travel and then most recently high school. This year, I take my girls from the HS to create a travel team to prepare for next spring. Right before the season, the boys coach leaves for another club and I’m asked to take over both teams, which I do.

I’ve learned that these are two completely different worlds. While my girls team isn’t spectacular, they are showing flashes of being a very good team and they showed it in their first game without me having to say much. They lose 2-0, but only to PKs, which whatever.

My boys on the other hand, came out flat, went down 3-0 and looked horrible. Halftime comes and I absolutely lay in to them. My final comment is “get it together or we can condition all next week”

To my surprise, they are a completely different team second half. Intense, winning just about every ball, completing multiple passes. I mean, we spent 70% of the second half in the opponents half. We lose 3-1, but something clicked for them. I actually have extremely high expectations for my boys after that performance.

I know coaching boys is different than coaching girls and I absolutely would never raise my voice at only my girls like that. I have an earlier post that talks about a bad practice and having to yell at both teams.

At the end of the day, my goal is to have my players improve and have fun. How do you guys deal with coaching boys vs coaching girls? Has anyone else had to deal with both at the same time?

I somehow ended up coaching two teams, U16G and U15B. We are a small club and as far as I know, don’t have a huge history of being competitive. I have 19 boys and 15 girls and we all share one field, so it’s close to 30 kids a practice, even if there’s players absent.

Anyways, we’ve been practicing since the 2nd week of July. Practices have been good, I’ve actually seen a lot of improvement from both teams. Today was just off. They were talking over me, failing to complete passes in what was genuinely a simple drill, and they just for the most part seemed uninterested.

It was a complete flop of a practice. Unfortunately I had to yell to keep their attention, so we finished practice with conditioning. I don’t have any issue with making them run, but I’m just not a coach that yells.

After the conditioning, I talked to them about how poor I thought practice went and how both teams are extremely talented, but focus is needed to be successful. After this talk. I talked to the captains and set new standards.

Is there any more I could have done? How do we bounce back from something like this? Am I overthinking it?

Not too much to talk about here, had a game yesterday, U16G. Ended 0-0. Maybe 5 foul calls total, not too intense. Two no calls on my end that I’m still confident about.

In my opinion, 50/50 shoulder battle in the box, offensive player loses balance and goes down somewhat hard. No call and home team coach is screaming for the PK.

A few minutes later, we’re in the center circle and the ball hits the opposing team’s player foot, then hand. No call, and again the home coach is screaming for a call.

“This referee doesn’t know what he’s doing.” loud enough for me to hear from midfield.

Does that warrant a card or is that too much for a low intensity game ?

Previously I was a U12/U13G travel coach. Last fall, my team disbanded due to a lack of numbers. I took that season off and in the spring, I joined the JV girls team as an assistant, while also coaching a U12 Rec team.

This year, I brought back some of my JV girls + the JV head coach is my assistant. I also brought in some girls from outside schools and girls that will be trying out in the spring. So this is mainly just to prepare us for the spring HS season.

Then the coach of what would be the boys team left last minute, so I was asked to take over. I’m now coaching two teams, U15B and a U16G. Luckily today is the first game for both, and at the same location.

Is there any advice for first game(s) ? How to handle traveling between two teams all season?

I am entering my 6th season as a center referee. I rarely call fouls, especially not penalties unless it's egregious and/or obvious. For this foul in question, I'm lined up right outside of the 18 and my AR is also in position on the line. I believe that we both have a good view. This is U17 girls travel.

After a corner, the defense only clears it to the top of the box, where an offensive player regains possession inside of the box, right in front of me. A defender goes for the ball from behind and ends up stepping on the back attackers cleat. The attackers doesn't fall, but clearly loses balance and then loses possession. There's no advantage, so I stop play and give the PK.

My AR1 was an older ref, with WAY more experience than me. We've worked together plenty and although I don't agree with a lot of his calls, we work well together. After the game, I ask questions like always, and he mentions that he would've let the play go as it was incidental contact.

I did not card the defender because it wasn't dogso/spa and the contact was somewhat light, but it was enough to stop the attack, without actually making contact with the ball.

I've witnessed plenty of challenges in the box, which have been clean contact with the ball, without unnecessary contact to the attacking player, which I've played on with no calls. I've also said play on when there's been accidental handballs, but this one didn't look like a clean challenge, even though it wasn't a purposeful trip.

In this situation, should we ever say no foul and play on? And if so, how do you explain to coaches, players, or other refs that you didn't give the PK because the defender didn't mean to trip the attacker?