u/Cold_Cupcake4656

I noticed from social media etc that the Jane / Rochester romance gets a LOT of hate from contemporary observers and for a brief moment I also thought Mr Rochester was toxic and why did Jane marry him. I have read Wide Sargasso Sea and enjoyed it very much as a standalone novel but let's be frank it had nothing really to do with the plot and characters of Jane Eyre so the Bertha Mason situation should not be based on that book.

One thing that is made SO clear from the very beginning of the book is that human affection has a high claim on Jane. She always strives for a real and true intellectual and emotional connection and can only find that with a few people, first Helen Burns, then Mr Rochester, then her cousins at Moor House.

So first, let's be frank about her situation. By the end of the novel she is financially independent but not wildly rich because she split her fortune. She can only ever live a comfortable life, she wouldn't have a job and her cousins will marry. She could maybe marry someone respectable and nice but with whom she has no real 'fellow feeling', a concept very important to her.

The beauty of Mr Rochester's and Jane's relationship is that they fully SEE each other. I think when you're in your twenties you might think this is easy to find. It is NOT. They are both highly unusual, unconventional and have intellects that traverse different planes from most around them. Can you imagine how terribly lonely that could make you, especially in the 19th century. I'm sorry but for all his toxic traits (massively overblown except the deception part, but the wife in the attic is the least problematic given mental health institutions at the time IMHO) Mr Rochester always treats Jane with intellectual and emotional EQUALITY. He does not try to subdue her spirit like St John does. He loves her free spirit, and unconventional mind. He even states clearly that he would still love her if she became mad.

He becomes purified by his suffering and truly repents.

It may be unrealistic but GODDAM in the horrible digital age of dating wouldn't many of us be so happy to find someone who sees us and wants our spirit to be free? Even if you don't like the character of Mr Rochester you have to see that there was no-one else for Jane and she is a lover girl who was not destined to live alone.

I have a large amount of Latin American friends, and though I have never traveled to Latin America I would love to. In general I've grown up and lived in many different places in the world but my first dance exposures were to gamelan music and ballet classes. My Latin American friends all danced at parties and it seemed so much fun. In particular, some Colombian friends tried to teach me a bit of salsa. However, I was very unfamiliar with the movements and the rhythms, I find it a bit tough and felt a bit dispirited when they tried to explain how to dance because I didn't get it. Most instructions were like 'feel the music' 'move your hips', which for someone who danced completely different rhythms and body movements all their life is very hard.

I started lessons here in Europe but I get the impression that my Latin American friends think that people learning salsa in Europe are doing a kind of fake version. I love the music, I want to connect to my friends, but I feel a bit discouraged. Is it worth it?

P.S. I have kind of low dancing self esteem (ballet trauma!) where I think I'm terrible but funnily enough, when I've been drunk and just vibing to music, allot of people commented that they liked my dancing. So I think it's with overcoming these issues.