I need advice
Hi everyone.
I’m 17, and about 6 months ago I was diagnosed with primary ammenorrhea.
I’m 5’3, and around 46kg. I try to eat around 2800kcal daily, of which 120g protein, 350g carbs and the rest fat. I don’t track my intake too much so sometimes ill eat more than other days. I am autistic and so I struggle a lot with food textures and sensing when I am hungry, thirsty, tired, etc. I sometimes forget to eat/drink because I’m distracted or focussed on something else. I also have loads of digestion issues like bloating, but over the last year they have improved significantly. I have been really struggling to gain weight, having plateaud where I am currently for the last year despite efforts to eat more, and my hormones are really low. My doctor started me on Oestrogen patches but I haven’t noticed any difference at all. My bloods have been fine, except for low hormones and iron, so I’m taking multivits each day. As for exercise, I’m a weightlifter, as well as the usual college sports. I train 4x weekly, and at school around two hours weekly of team sport like hockey. I also walk each day for around 40 mins, and I sometimes go climbing.
For context, when I was 12, I had an eating disorder that basically ruined the rest of my teenage years so far. Between 12 and 15 I struggled with my ED and depression and I went into treatment four times and relapsed three times during that time period. I have no idea what my supposed “healthy” weight is, having ranged from the 30s to the 50s. This is probably why I’ve never had a period. Development wise, I’ve barely reached Tanner Stage 2-3. I look like I’m 13. And I’m so scared that it has ruined my future, not only as an aspiring athlete but also as a woman. I just want to be normal, and I don’t know what to do.
Energy wise, I’m sometimes super enegised but most of the time I’m not a million percent. I hover between mentally and physically exhausted to moderately energised, depending on my stress levels and activity levels.
I don‘t currently have a dietitian, having hated all previous experiences with them. I’m not against it, but having been through some tough times with a few different ones I‘m a bit reluctant to try again.
I feel lost and scared. Anything would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks x