MDMA made me more childlike with my faith (Christianity)
I know scripture tells us to be sober-minded, so am I being deceived or deceiving myself when I say that MDMA made me more prayerful and childlike with my faith?
A little context I'd like to provide, or maybe some background on my faith in God: I initially found God through being led in prayer because I felt his love pour over me when I was going through a very insecure time in my life. Love poured in me and out of me so effortlessly when I started believing in Jesus. I was praying unapologetically for anything or everything, like a literal child to my Heavenly Father.
It was then that I met a group on my college campus that invited me to Bible studies. To keep it short and simple, although I am now more educated on the Bible, they led me down a path where I constantly feared my salvation. Whether it be the amount of time I chose to commit to the bible studies, they made me constantly question my salvation because of my works. I eventually decided to step away from that. It was hard because they taught me a lot of scriptures and biblical wisdom, apart from my newborn initial faith in God. The fearmongering produced by these Bible studies regarding my salvation and faith still lingers with me, but I've been healing.
I'm a child of God, and I am not my sins. I believe in this God because he delivered me away from things that hurt other people or me, and I am overall a more fruitful person because of Him. To be honest, though, after slowly adopting this more secure mentality of like realizing that fear and anxiety aren't from God, my prayer life has been pretty dull (?) I'm not clouded with much condemnation anymore, and when I do catch these thoughts, I immediately am reminded that these are things not from God. Maybe that's okay..? This is something I should think about and pray about for sure. Because I don't pray and read as much, maybe I'm questioning my salvation. Any advice and thoughts regarding this text are appreciated.
Got a little sidetracked, but yeah, I went to a festival, and I ended up taking MDMA. To describe the experience I had, I felt so warm and fuzzy. I'm extremely affectionate on it, and I love hugging people and all that. I prayed for all my friends in the name of Jesus, directly to them, and loving prayers came out of me so effortlessly. But yes, I am aware that it's the drug and chemicals, but I still felt so happy and loved by God when I thought of him. Is this wrong? Am I being deceived? I would never encourage anyone else to take drugs; this is just my experience.