possibly graduating with an unclassified degree
TLDR: if i don't delay graduation, i'll receive an unclassified degree, and i'm scared for what that means for my future and my relationship with my parents.
TW// mental health issues
i'm 21 years old, and i've been doing a degree in biological sciences for the past four years. i had to resit my second year of uni after failing most of my modules due to the impact of my mental health issues (autism, ocd, depression, suicidal ideation) and my parents were so fucking upset with me. we're in a better place now as i did a lot better in my second attempt at my second year, but i've since failed two modules in my third year, meaning if i choose to graduate this month, i'll recieve an unclassified degree.
i don't know how to tell them, they've put so much into me persuing this degree, but i feel like i tank it every time with my issues that just won't improve no matter how hard i try. they're so excited for me to graduate this month, but i don't know if it's worth it to graduate with an unclassified degree or not.
honestly, i just want to be done with this whole chapter of my life, i'm just so tired and i don't think i ever want to go back into academia again, but i'm scared about what the future holds and whether having an unclassified degree would be worth the pain and stress i've caused my parents over the past few years, as well as all the debt i'm now in.
i've got a meeting with the graduation advisory board next week, and my parents say they're just glad i'm coping better with all my issues now regardless of my grade, but i don't know that i believe that based on their past reactions. there's so much more going on between us regarding my life and who i am, and i just don't want to lose them and my little sister over this. i feel like they think i'm just lazy and don't want to get better, but all i want is to be able to live like a proper person and make them all proud. i think i just feel a bit hopeless. i don't think it's my own conscious fault that i've lost interest in my subject area
i don't know what i want to do with my life - this degree has taken everything out of me. i feel so much more stupid than i did pre-uni, maybe one day i'll be able to reignite my passion for science, but for now i just need to focus on keeping myself alive. i don't feel passion for anything anymore, any advice or insights would be appreciated more than you know. thank you for reading.