Working on a video essay and decided to put into words why I resonate with Fern as a character:
I resonate with Fern from adventure time because, much like he, I too have struggled to find purpose, meaning and an identity. I resonate with his well-intentioned awkward persona, but also, more severely, his feelings of perpetual inferiority and frustration. As his own grass demon put forth an unrelenting drive to be Finn no matter the cost, I too have felt, for much of my life, an unrelenting drive to imitate others and succumb to their expectations. And yet, no matter how hard either of us tried, we failed, finding neither success, solace, community or fulfillment in our actions. It was as if the harder he tried the more he pushed others away. The harder he tried, the more he reinforced his position of inferiority and brought attention to the void that comes from not knowing who you are. And yet, despite these failures, the urge doesn’t go away. The urge persists and leads you to become someone you don’t even recognize. It led Fern to betray his moral code so that he could feel like Finn. It led him to become the green knight, a bastardization of his true heroic nature. He could care less about the pain he was inflicting on others, because central to all of his “evil” actions was a desire for oneness and superiority. Thus, the quote: “There’s nothing you have that I don’t…” Like him, I have been inclined in many periods of my life to chase that urge irrespective of things like morals and values. I was more than willing to betray myself so that I could feel as if I was who others wanted me to be. Not only was I driven to it, but it felt as if it was all I could do. Ultimately, Fern was only able to feel relief when he finally removed the grass demon that subjected him to endless torment and the burden of having to “be Finn.” It was through this that he was given the space and freedom to truly grow into himself. He became someone unafraid of being different-unafraid of deviating from what had been imposed upon him his whole life. It was at this moment that he was able to align with his authentic beliefs and express himself fully without fear or insecurity. The grass demon in my life tormented me with the burden of satisfying the expectations of others. Killing it and letting go of these arbitrary standards I’ve tried so hard to please is what has finally allowed me to become more whole within myself and grow into the person I want to be.