I'm from Assam and sc so I have some of the lowest cutoffs imaginable. embarrassingly, even with my quota I'm failing at neet. I'm pcmb and with my jee percentile I'm getting decent engineering options. But I've always wanted to do medicine, I've always been inclined towards the subject and ik how a doctor's life is like and I have no problem going through it. I've always wanted to pursue research in the medical field.
I'm just crossing 400 in mocks and I'm genuinely afraid to the bottom of my core. Idk some chapters of biology properly yet, I gave a chem test today and its not going good either. Phy is ok-ok I'm crossing 90 marks somehow.
I'm just so so so sad because I was working so hard the last 2years, I even thought I can get under 20k rank, I lost so much hair, developed pcos and heart palpitations and body pain because of anxiety, but after boards, I just forgot everything. I also had maths and studying it also took up so much time and I had to inevitably skip some important mock tests in order to study maths. I just put myself in my room all day and studied but towards the end I just messed everything up. I don't understand why this had to happen to me.
I know I deserve another chance because I know I am hardworking but I was misguided. Whenever I'd ask teachers for advice in regard to my particular situation they'd literally just say "haa manage toh karna parega tumhe kaise bhi" just bcz I was not from one of the so called topper batches.
My parents r saying they'll take a loan and send me to a nearby private college but I genuinely CANT put them thru paying almost 1cr for my undergrad.
I just hate my life rn