u/Competitive_Tooth237

I’ve been having a long discussion about Christianity and I’m trying to understand some things that I genuinely find difficult. I’m not posting this to attack Christianity. I’m genuinely interested in how Christians would answer these questions.

1. If God wants us to genuinely love and obey Him, how do we separate that from fear and reward?

Suppose I follow God's teachings because I love God. But I also know that rejecting God could lead to hell and following Him could lead to heaven.

Those consequences will obviously affect my decisions to some degree. I don't think that's necessarily bad, but how do we know how much of my motivation comes from genuine love and how much comes from fear or desire for reward?

And can I even know that about myself?

I might sincerely believe, "I follow God because I love Him," while there could be other motivations influencing me that I don't recognize.

So if God judges the intentions of our hearts, is it fair to judge us based on motives that we ourselves may not even fully understand?

2. Does having enormous consequences really leave us completely free?

Imagine someone tells me:

"You are completely free to choose whether to study or play games. But if you study, you get an incredible reward, and if you don't, you receive an enormous punishment."

Technically, I still have a choice. Nobody is physically forcing me.

But the consequences are obviously going to influence my decision.

So when Christianity says we have free will even though our choices have eternal consequences, I wonder what exactly "free will" means here.

I'm not necessarily saying that consequences eliminate free will.

I'm asking whether they make it impossible to know how much of our decision represents what we genuinely want versus how much is a response to the consequences.

3. Why is God entitled to determine our purpose?

Christianity often talks about humans having a purpose that God gave us.

But if God created me with a particular purpose before I even existed, I didn't choose that purpose.

I can choose whether to fulfill it, but I didn't choose what the purpose was in the first place.

So why am I morally obligated to fulfill a purpose that I never agreed to?

Having a purpose doesn't necessarily eliminate free will, but it seems to place our freedom inside a framework that we didn't choose.

4. Why does God require our obedience if He doesn't need anything from us?

If God is omnipotent and doesn't need anything from human beings, why does our obedience matter to Him?

I understand the answer that God's commands are ultimately for our benefit and that following them makes us better people.

But then I wonder: why does God get to determine what our ultimate purpose and form of goodness should be?

Why is His definition of what I should become automatically binding on me?

5. What about someone who is genuinely good but doesn't do it because of God?

Imagine someone who doesn't hate God and isn't trying to rebel against Him.

They simply don't have a relationship with God.

But they are genuinely good. They don't want to hurt people. They don't lie, steal, or exploit others. They help people, forgive people, sacrifice for others, and genuinely care about doing what is right.

And importantly, they aren't doing these things because they want heaven or fear hell. They do them because they genuinely believe that goodness is worth pursuing.

What exactly is wrong with this person?

If the answer is, "They don't have a relationship with God," then I have another question:

Why is having a relationship with God itself a moral requirement?

Even if this person knew with absolute certainty that God existed, why would that fact alone mean they must love, worship, or submit to Him?

Knowing that someone exists doesn't automatically seem to create an obligation to love them.

So what is the missing principle that makes a relationship with God morally necessary?

The bigger question I'm struggling with

All of these seem connected to one bigger issue:

If God created us, gave us a purpose, established the moral rules, attached enormous consequences to our choices, and ultimately judges our intentions, what makes this system genuinely free and morally fair from the perspective of the person being judged?

I'm not saying I have proved Christianity wrong. I'm also not saying these questions have no answers.

I'm specifically interested in whether Christianity has a coherent answer to them that goes beyond:

"God knows best, so you just have to have faith."

I don't find that satisfying because it seems to stop the investigation rather than answer the underlying question.

I'd genuinely like to hear how Christians, atheists, or philosophers would approach these questions.

(PS I did use AI to write out this post as English isn't my first language)