u/Confident_Craft1793

Like many others, I grew up as a comp dancer and dance was my first love. But now I’m 30 years old and I feel like I have no part in this community.

I got hip surgery going into my senior year of high school. This isn’t a “I could’ve gone pro if I didn’t get surgery” I was decent, but I wasn’t amazing. Because of these factors, I didn’t dance in college or audition. I even moved to nyc post college (degree in public relations) and didn’t do anything dance related. It’s my biggest regret.

Life happened and I had to move back home where I started teaching full time at 25 years old and not being in the dance scene since I was 18. I’m now 29 and have gotten PBT certified and landed my niche in leaps and turns, but I feel so utterly behind, lost, and not good enough. I don’t have the resume others have, I’ve never auditioned nor have I trained under anyone of note.

I know we’re not in it for the finances, but it is a factor. I used to have about 15 hours of private lessons a week with 15 class hours, now I’m in a new city and I only have one consistent private with only 7 hours of teaching. It’s my first year here, but it’s hard to not let this get to me.

Basically what I’m asking is, how do you keep your confidence up when it feels like you’re not doing anything good enough.

I turn 30 next month and I have nothing idea what I’m doing. I have a bs in mass comm with a focus in PR and grew up as a competitive dancer. Post grad, I moved to nyc and bounced around different fields within PR: weddings, music, beauty, and ultimately, healthcare.

I worked my way up to a manger role just to be let go four months in due to budget reasons. This was about three years ago. Since then, I have been a dance teacher as full time as I’m able. At first, I was making good money with private lessons, but then the studio I worked at was closed down, and my students scattered. I then worked at a new studio as a contracted teacher just to be fired from them as well for teaching outside their space. There was nothing about this in my contract.

It’s been about a year since then, and I’m in a new city. At my new studio spaces, I’m only teaching 7 hours a week as opposed to 25. During the day, I’m a patient care coordinator for a physical therapist. Since none of my jobs are salaried, I don’t receive benefits, and I also do not have a stable income.

Like a lot of other people, I’m really tired of worrying about my finances to the point of deciding between bills and groceries. It’s been so long since I’ve been in the PR field and I don’t have connections, so I don’t think a job there would work for me.

I’d love to go back to school to become a physical therapist, but I don’t have the time or money for that. Certifications seem like the best route for me, but I’m not sure where to start or frankly what to do. This has really taken a toll on me and I feel like all I do is work, but I have nothing to show for it.

Any help is welcome, thank you in advance