Working to Stay at home
I really just don't even know what im looking for in writing this. My husband(36) and I(32) are making moves and planning for me to come home with the kids. He's about to move up in his job, dependant on a certification passing, and we believe this will be the best for us because currently daycare costs go up every year and I drive an hour 1 way with the kids to my job where the daycare is. Im getting so nervous though for the transition, ive literally been working since I was 12 in some capacity and im just afraid of change in general.
Ive talked about our plan to some people and have been getting judgy-opposing vibes. My mom in particular keeps giving off the "how dare you think about not working" vibes, which I assumed I would get cause shes not a very supportive person in general and gets very caught up in public appearances and titles. One of my closest friends is worried about not having 2 incomes. Others have kind of just given "you gotta do what you gotta do" and "you do you".
Our reasons are plentiful, my daughter (toddler) possibly has autism(getting an evaluation soon) and is struggling with some behaviors, speech is improving but still lagging, and potty training. Im so whipped by the time we get home that I dont have the energy to be consistent with training and we are basically in a race for dinner and bedtime. Obviously we also spend so much time in the car which takes a toll on me and both of my littles. Another reason is that eventually we would have to figure out arrangements for getting our daughter to school cause its walking distance to our house but we dont have family that we could really rely on to come over before we have to leave for work and get our daughter, and eventually our younger son, up and ready then to school then pick them up later. So I feel like I eventually would have had to come home and stop working anyway. I work in Healthcare, so flexibility of schedule is already a problem. Even places that advertise flexibility with hours and "helping with a work-life balance" never actually mean it in my experience. Lastly, I am miserable at my workplace. I have a few work friends but the environment and management are so incompetent and toxic that I have trouble not bringing that home. Im also having trouble with the FMLAs for taking care of my kiddos when theyre sick and have almost literally 0 pto since they always manage to get sick back to back and right after I finally accrue some. Not to mention all the speech appointments and other appointments.
My husband is also a swaying tree with this decision, he keeps getting stuck on my student loans not having been paid off and not working in my field, then hes full force supportive and again then he starts worrying about our finances. Which I think is a fair worry, especially for him since he is the first person in his family to really get out of the poverty line.
I just feel like I need some support and encouragement that it will be okay, from people who have been there and are there.
Sorry if this got confusing and stuff, writing in spurts while at work.