I feel like such a hugeee loser because I've always been on the bad end of the stick. Took a drop for nid and uceed because boards squeezed the life out of me last year but still somehow cleared nid prelims and failed mains. Gave both exams again this year missed the getting the iits by 10-15 marks and didn't qualify nid at all. Then I think no it's not gonna matter I'll get a good scholarship and go to an amazing pvt now suddenly every portfolio I open people have WORK EXPERIENCE?? they are well versed with every design tool on the planet??? And have a portfolio that would get them a job soo a seat at a design college isn't a debate.. and I'm sitting here with a laptop that is barely hanging on the for dear life unable to run anything on it all I really have is sketches, and physical works which now that I look at them seem too fine art focused. All these people who have such extensive portfolios have had soo many experiences and won many things and lost many things while all I ever did was study till I passout and then be tired to do anything else. Design felt like a calling when I first heard about it and I still have soo much to offer as a person as an ASPIRING DESIGNER but it really feels like a dead end where I might end up choosing a problematic clg and keep hopping from one rock bottom to another. It's very loudly acknowledged in the subreddit that design at least in India is a rich person's playground but I always thought there's a way for someone like me to break thru BUT I GUESS NOT.
All of this is a feelings dump I'm not looking for solutions I've friends to help with that 🙂. But I can't shake off the feeling that there's such enormous skill gap between soo many people and me. And they are really very much deserving I'm just mad that I'm not and have these annoying problems to deal with. Anyways feel free to drag me thru all the dirt u want.