Need help with my intention
hi hi everyone! I love this group and I’m hoping I can get some insight.
I have CPTSD from being tortured as a child in foster care. Most of my adult life seemed pretty normal job marriage divorce kid but also an umbrella feeling of unworthiness.
The first 15 sessions were very difficult for me. The actual journey was great, but I would have a horrible two or three day hangover afterwards.
At about session 20, I had less anxiety going in and I was able to set intentions on what I wanted to work on.
My biggest issue is the feeling of loneliness. So my intention is learning to be grateful for the little things. Motivating myself to continue doing things such as exercise, even when I don’t want to. I’ve tried so many activities to try and figure out what I like.
Turns out there’s not much. Two weird things I enjoy doing is shaving my dog and mopping my floors. I thought it would be hiking, or dancing or being around people since I feel so lonely.
The number one solution for my loneliness would be to meet a partner. Logistically it’s very difficult. I’ve been on the app but live in a very small town And run out of people. I also can’t move until my child leaves for college which is in four years.
Thank you if you’ve read up to this part. My question is the solution to my loneliness is dependent on another person and finding a partner so I don’t want to set up my intention to meet someone as it’s a huge possibility that won’t happen. i dont want to waste my treatment on a “hope that i do“ positive mindset if that makes sense.
So, the next clear intention is to enjoy the peace of being alone and surrender that I might be alone for the rest of my life and that will be OK.
I also learned during one of my journeys that most of the men I dated was me fawning over them and using them as a distraction from the pain of being alone. It felt gross.
What is a one sentence intention you recommend that I can go in to my journey thinking or saying?