Hey,
So here it is : I (36F) just finished a PhD in humanities and landed a job outside academia a year before finishing it. I was quite pleased with myself because job market is quite bad at the moment.
Thing is I ended up hating the job...in academia we have the highest standards (way too high) then in this job it's the contrary, I feel like I am waisting my time : they expect many things but don't give the time or conditions to do the work properly, so at the end we deliver poorly when we could do so much better. I am not proud of what I am accomplishing and I hate many of my colleagues. I hate that because I swear usually I am an enthousiastic person and always seeing the best in people but this job...I just can't.
I started to send applications but 1/ job market is really bad and there aren't many offers 2/ I got 2-3 "almost" (one of them a dream job postdoc) but it didn't work out 3/ I also received many rejections. In my head I already left my job but still depend on it as long as I havent found something else (I have a family so I cannot just stop working and take time for myself), I am slowly losing all my confidence (Is it me ? Am I a diva ? Why am I not able to transform the difficulties of my current job in opportunities ? Maybe I am just not competent to continue in academia or to do anything else ? And so on).
Anyway I need advice to tackle this situation...how should I do ?