u/CowGirlHipster

Hey y'all. I'm just reaching out to see how many folks have been in this particular predicament and looking for some pointers/advice on where to begin.

I'll try to keep it short, but for some context, I got my bachelors in Film studies back in 2016. I tried to break into hollywood a couple years after that but kept meeting dead ends and significant financial barriers. I've spent this time growing in the service industry with a bunch of experience as a bartender and a barista. Considering all this, I'm looking to head back to school for something more worthwhile than working for tips and minimum wage. I do have an associates in criminal justice (I had a different life path back then) so I've been doing some research into more niche criminal justice masters programs and getting back to what I originally wanted to go to school for.

I'm not looking to work for the government considering the messy political climate right now but am more interested in other niche areas of crime analysis. Going back to school in general isn't a worry I have since I love learning, but I'm more or less worried about how common it is to break into that field knowing that I don't have much (if at all any) experience. That and the idea of taking out more loans given how shaky the economy is is a little nerve wracking. I've read lots of other comments from folks really struggling to break into entry level roles among so many different career paths so it's leaving me wondering if it's worth it at all to go back to school.

Any guidance, advice, helpful words of encouragement is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance for your time! =]

So for some short context, I (36F) moved in with my brother (39M) a few years ago to try and hash out our rough childhood and try to build a better relationship. But the past few years, I've just been this emotional punching bag for him and I've had enough. Countless times where he's projected a lot of his pain onto me and exploding over small mundane things, leaving me wondering if I'm the asshole for triggering him so much or if I'm not trying hard enough to mend things. We went through a fair amount of abuse as kids and led different lives in our 20s. He'll manipulate me when I don't want to go out and spend so much money I don't have (he doesn't either, he's been unemployed for over a year). For months he was borderline suicidal and I spent days worried that I would come home to him dead in his bed.

I'm tired of carrying his heavy emotional weight and trying to manage his emotional dysregulation. I don't want to just brush it off like it's nothing anymore. But I'm afraid to really speak my mind to him because he'll usually tell me I'm wrong and it's not really that bad and pull out all the ways he's been so useful in my life and how all he ever does is help me. He heavily leans on his rejection sensitivity as an excuse for his outbursts and that everyone in the family needs to be cautious about his triggers instead of him ever owning uo for all the terrible things he says when he is triggered. I'm constantly at war in my own head wondering if I'm not trying hard enough for him or giving him enough patience. But we really are best siblings with so much distance between us. I'm moving out in a few months with my girlfriend and I plan on going super low contact for awhile.

I dunno. I'm just so tired of dealing with him. Tired of walking on eggshells daily. My own anxiety has been super manageable beforehand thanks to therapy and exercise and great friendships, but moving in with him, I've had more panic attacks than I ever have in my life. Last night he had the nerve to ask me if I've ever considered medication for my anxiety and said "could you imagine not being anxious anymore when you talk to me" and I just about lost it on him.

Thanks for taking the time to read ❤️