I am a Young Christian struggling with homosexuality, What should I do?
I've grew up in the church, I still am in the church. Pride month was last month and once again my lasted did his service on homosexuality, All he says about it is true which makes it worst for me. I know better. But yet I continue to have feelings for women and other homosexual behavior.
I'm 12-15 (Not giving real age) And I've had feelings for girls since 2 grade. That's the earliest thing I can remember. There was this one time in 2nd grade where I wanted to be "Friends" with this very pretty girl and was holding hands with her. That's when it started, a small homosexual spark that's now a wildfire I can't control.
None of the adults in my life know about this (Except teachers) I have kissed a girl, Nothing past that. The sad thing is that I WANT to go past that. I can't to have sex with a female the only thing that's stopping me is knowing that once I go there I can't turn back. I currently Saying pansexual (Which means you like someone regardless of gender identification or like expanded Bisexual) And I've tried to say I'm straight and get my mind on the right path, But it's hard.
I've never like guys, And I know I don't have to worry about any type of love life but it worries me. I get scared that if I don't figure this out while I'm young then I won't ever fix it when in grow. I can't built a chain with a weak link. Being homosexual is like smoking, Once you get a taste and you figure you like it you keep doing it and doing it and doing it till even if you really want to quit you cant.
I know people makes excuses like "God made me this way" and "I was born a homo" but I do feel like that's not true. God wouldn't make you a sinner (Besides being born one) He wouldn't choose a path that takes you to hell. I do wish I could come out and not be put up with the homophobia but I know if I came out and they accepted me I would become more comfortable in the spot im in.
I am in a relationship and I did take her to my church and she is Christian, but she doesn't know I want to stop being homosexual, I don't wanna stop loving her. I want to spend the end with her which makes is 20 times more complicated. 😥
Any Advice??
EDIT: I'm not here to have the whole "Homosexuality is not a sin" Debate you can send me links but what I think about THAT is certain.