5 weeks into MoJ/Civil Service role and desperately want to quit. Am I going crazy, or is this culture toxic?
Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some perspective because I’m currently sitting at home feeling like I’m losing my mind.
I recently onboarded into an operational delivery/admin role at the MoJ. Like many others, I waited months for my security clearance and background checks, holding onto the idea that this would look amazing on my CV and be a stable, professional milestone. I also hold a Master’s degree, so I was excited to finally get started.
Fast forward 5 weeks, and I am absolutely miserable. Today was an absolute endurance test and I had to fight the urge to just walk out mid-afternoon.
The reality on the ground is so different from what was promised. The office culture feels like a cliquey high school. My desk was strategically moved to an isolated back room under heavy surveillance, and the daily atmosphere is filled with grown adults gossiping about tabloids and local baristas and calling people fat and body shaming them.
Worse than that, the training environment feels borderline abusive. I’m walking on eggshells every day. Today, I made a routine data entry mistake on an SJP case (which I'm still learning), and instead of being guided, I was met with a blunt, accusatory interrogation by a senior colleague who has been projecting his bad moods onto the room all week. It has made me terrified to even ask basic questions.
Everyone else in this office has been here for 20+ years, which makes me gaslight myself into thinking I'm the problem, or that I'm "too sensitive" and just need a thicker skin. But my gut and my body are physically rejecting this place. I haven't even received my first paycheck yet, but the thought of walking back through those doors tomorrow fills me with pure dread.
Has anyone else experienced this severe "onboarding shock" with the Civil Service or MoJ? Is high attrition normal this early on? Am I crazy for wanting to call in sick tomorrow, hand in my notice, and just protect my sanity?
Any advice or reality checks would be massively appreciated.