[CA] My younger brother was hurt at school, and the principal's response was concerning. What's the best course of action?
Location: California
Hi everyone,
I'm posting because I honestly don't know where else to turn and would appreciate some advice.
My 7-year-old brother recently came home from school with a bruise on his face after being hit by another student. According to my younger siblings, this student had been physically aggressive toward him multiple times before, although the school and the other child's parents dispute those previous incidents.
The school did take action by sending the student home early, and he apologized. I acknowledge that, but I'm still worried about preventing future incidents.
What concerns me even more is how the principal handled the situation.
My mother speaks limited English, so I've been communicating with the school on behalf of our family.
I had two respectful phone conversations with the other child's mother. Although we disagreed on some things, both calls ended calmly. During our second call, I suggested a joint Zoom meeting with both families and the school, and she responded positively, saying, "That's a great idea! I'm going to email the school right now."
However, the following morning, the principal called and said the other parents had come to school extremely upset and that I had made them uncomfortable. The principal seemed to have already formed a negative opinion of me without even asking for my side of the story.
During the call, the principal's tone was very rude and dismissive. When I said, "I don't like your tone. You need to be more respectful," the principal shouted, "Well, I don't like your tone either! I regret connecting you with their parents!"
The principal also made comments suggesting that my mother and I might not understand how things work in America because we had immigrated relatively recently, implying that incidents like this weren't such a big deal here.
When I explained that my brother was afraid of the other student, the principal said he was "making things up in his head, a threat that doesn't exist."
The principal also repeatedly insisted, "It's done! It's DONE!" and "There's nothing you can do. There's nothing I can do," emphasizing that the student had already apologized and received consequences.
My younger sister also reported that the same student had made a "ching chong" remark toward her last school year. When I brought it up, the principal responded, "But why didn't she tell the teacher if that actually happened?" The school has since spoken with the children and is looking into it upon my request.
Here's what I'm struggling with.
Right now, I'm considering writing a detailed account of what happened, including the incidents, my conversations with the other parents and the principal, and our concerns about future safety, and sending it to the school just to have everything documented in writing.
But I'm not sure whether that's the appropriate way to handle this, whether it could make things worse, or even how to properly write such a letter.
I didn't grow up in the U.S., so I'm unfamiliar with how these situations are normally handled here. I've tried reaching out for free legal consultations, but haven't been able to get any actual guidance.
Would simply sending a written statement to the school be a reasonable step? Should it be addressed to someone else? What should I include or avoid saying to protect my siblings and properly document everything without unnecessarily escalating the situation?
I'd really appreciate any advice or personal experiences, especially from anyone familiar with California schools.
Thank you so much for reading. I'm just trying to protect my younger siblings while handling this as carefully as possible.