Loosing my virginity. I have no idea how to begin? M-18 F-18
My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 3 months now, and since it’s long distance, we don’t really get to see each other often. She was also my first kiss, and we’ve only made out twice because of the distance. I’m going to be in her town soon though, and we’ve both talked about finally having sex for the first time. It’ll be both of our first times ever, so honestly we’re excited but also nervous as hell.
The good thing is that we communicate a lot about this stuff. We’ve talked about boundaries, protection, things we’re comfortable with, things we’re not into, and what we both expect. So emotionally I feel pretty safe with her and I trust her a lot. But at the same time, I genuinely have no clue what I’m doing 😭
Like, how do you even “start”? Is it supposed to happen naturally while making out or is there some point where one person just makes a move? How fast are you supposed to go? I don’t want to rush her or make things awkward by trying too hard, but I also don’t want to seem overly nervous and kill the mood.
Another thing I’m worried about is expectations vs reality. People online make it seem either insanely magical or like a complete disaster with no in-between. For people who’ve already had their first time, was it actually smooth or was it awkward at first? Did you guys laugh through it or was it more serious? I feel like both of us are probably gonna be nervous, so I’m trying not to overthink it.
Also, how much should I actually “know” beforehand? I’ve obviously seen stuff online, but I know real life is different. Is the main thing just communication and going slow? How important is foreplay really? How do you know if your partner is fully comfortable in the moment without constantly stopping to ask every 5 seconds?
And honestly, for guys specifically, how do you deal with performance anxiety? I keep seeing horror stories online about people finishing too quickly, not being able to stay hard because they were nervous, or just panicking midway through. I know it’s probably normal, but it still gets in my head.
TD;LR We both really care about each other and neither of us are treating this casually, so I just want it to be a good experience for both of us, even if it’s awkward or imperfect. Any advice from people who’ve been through the “two nervous first timers” phase would genuinely help.