Surving Today
Maybe I’m paranoid,
I feel the skies hang low.
The dark skies tell me it will rain.
They feel so heavy.
I can’t escape their gravity.
I whisper to myself
I’m the strong one.
Resilient.
I smile through the pressure.
My bones crack but don’t break.
I feel the eyes land on me.
Everyone’s watching me.
They are all waiting for me.
Waiting for me to move.
They look at me like I’m stone.
Don’t they know that I’m glass?
I’m suffocating.
I feel the numbness take over.
Like water rising.
I’m running out of air.
I want to scream,
Yet nothing comes out.
My words come out calm.
Just like a liar asking for forgiviness.
Can they see the panic in my eyes?
They look through me.
They walk past me.
Don’t you see I’m drowning?
How can doctors heal a sickness,
that doesn’t show symptoms?
The symptoms are invisibile.
When I try to vulnerable,
I speak in riddles.
My words to seem loose their way,
as they come out.
My tongue seems to be its own master.
Why did I say I’m fine?
Why do I keep tangling myself into a bind?
Why do I give advice, when I should take advice?
Can someone just tell me
Where can I go disappear?
Where do I escape to?
How do you escape reality?
Can someone tell me how to turn my brain off just for tonight?
Tomorrow,
I’ll be okay.
I just need to make it through today.
Tomorrow the sky will return.
Tomorrow i’ll forget how I felt today.