I’m a 21 year old loser with depression, I live with my parents but they don’t know anything and we don’t talk, I got 3 friends who I hangout with once a year since they have lives to live. I was also bullied in hs and had no friends there while I’m also in 2.5k debt.
This was all my own fault, I use to do drugs and gamble a lot. I thought it was cool and I got attention from people when I use to go out drinking a lot. This was in fact the stupidest things could’ve ever done.
After getting this debt I then lost my due to them moving the company overseas, ngl I loved my job, it was a sales job for WiFi and I loved the rush it gave me and I was getting better at it everyday. I then got another night shift customer service role that I hated.
Everyday before going to work it felt like hell just to get ready since this job was a nightmare for me. I understand there is harder jobs out there and people with harder lives than me but again I’m not looking for any comments under this post, I just want someone other than me to know this information.
To be fair the job wasn’t hard, it was just boring as hell and my managers loved throwing me so much extra work. I was afraid if I said something I would lose the job that’s helping me pay off my dumbass decisions I made when I was 16 to 20 so I kept my mouth shut and went home at 7am as we stayed at 10pm.
I hated waking up to this job and I felt like jumping in front of the train I get to work every single time I woke up.
2 months ago I took my bathroom break 10 minutes after my shift started and decided if I didn’t quit I would kill myself but I also realised without this job I couldn’t pay my debt. Unluckily for me I made another stupid decision, during me fighting with myself I went on TikTok to calm down just for me to see a post that said to always put you first to help with your mental health or something. I then quit my job like an idiot.
I haven’t been able to find another job and I’m running out of money to pay these debt consolidation loans off, I hope I can find something soon that doesn’t make me wanna jump out into a train every day.
I’m sorry that the information is all over the place but if anyone wants any information or something to keep yourselves entertained you can go ahead and ask me or smth idrc.
Thank you so much for reading though!